Showing posts with label charlie trout. Show all posts
Showing posts with label charlie trout. Show all posts

Monday, May 11, 2009

the motherCHUCKER saves the night





Now. I want to see who will now claim that Chuck has never loved Blair and he's never made things happen for her. I want to see now. Because if there's some sad little troll out there who claims all these things they will get a wanking that will go down in history. I dont plan to hold back with those stupid fuckers or the ship jumpers that are jumping right on back. Yes, Chuck does back things and he manipulates and he's just deliciously evil but when he wants to he can be amazing like he was here. He really really loves her and in his belief that he can't make her happy he created the perfect night for her. She has no clue what is happening (and I swear, if I were Serena and this was happening to my best friend I would open my mouth, but you know, it's all part of the plot) and even after she has EVERYTHING she ever wanted she realizes this is no longer what she is and she needs to let go of the past. Very poetic and very fairytalish. For me, the most ardent of cynics and realists, it made me fucking melt.

But really, if people can STILL not see the magic behind it all you are purposefully chugging back the Kool-Aid and tying the blinders on yourself because denial is the only route for you.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

win a date with CHUCK BASS!!




As posed by one of our lovely and intelligent readers I will take up the challenge to initiate an intelligent post as to WHY Chuck-mania has spread not only amongst the fandom but amongst the writers of the show. This is in no way to deny said mania but more to explain it.

In my attempts to show why Chuck has become a favorite I will need to break it up in 3 parts.
  1. Part 1- the conditional villain that becomes the anti-hero
  2. Part 2- the actor that steals the scenes
  3. Part 3 - what makes and breaks an inspiration

Part 1 - THE CONDITIONAL VILLAIN THAT BECOMES THE ANTI-HERO

It is not an uncommon phenomenon that a character originally intended to be the villain (or one that contains villainous-like-tendencies) of a story can indeed become the leading character, a sympathetic anti-hero. I will show some samples:
  • Spike, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
  • Logan Echolls, Veronica Mars
  • Captain Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean
  • The Phantom, The Phantom of the Opera
  • Frollo, Hunchback of Notre Dame
  • Danny Archer, Blood Diamond
  • Grendel, Beowulf
  • Keiser Soze, The Usual Suspects
  • Scarlett, Gone with the Wind
  • Snape, Harry Potter
  • Tony Montana, Scarface
  • Riddick, The Riddick Series
  • Tony Soprano, The Sopranos
  • Agent 47, The Hitman
Just to name a few. ;) Why does this occur and why is it, that at the end of the day they tend to create the largest fanbases?

Let us focus on Chuck, as we have explained before in our previous Chuck essay, the honest truth of it all is that Chuck's storyline is indefinitely more interesting than that of Nate or Dan. Poor little rich boy who was never loved? It's got the making of ANY anti-hero story. It is the #1 requirement after the whole 'family was brutally killed and this is why I'm fucked up reason'. I do think it wasn't pre-planned. In episode 1.02 you already know that he has Daddy-issues. You have to give the writers of the show credit here because they took a flat-character from the books and made him into a phenomenon filled with layers, contradictions, passionate desires, blatant flaws and an even more fervent flame of redemption. The character of Chuck then became this twisted boy and in the twisting of his character you learned his motivations, his aspirations and his loyalties.

Hence ground work is set. Now, you compile this with pairing him up with the other twisted character on the show and you have what some fools call an 'unexplained obsession with Chair'. To me it's clear but I can't expect everyone to understand and appreciate complex storylines like I do. ;)

So let us fast-forward to C.E. Current Era. As our observant reader pointed out, there is a blatant and self-proclaimed obsession from the writers with Chuck. The media is also feeding from this as they continue to praise his character on a weekly basis. I like to look at it this way; as a favorite child. The favorite child that can do no wrong and will always be justified? Yes, it's mostly like it but please dont misconstrue this as an attack on Chuck. On the contrary, I have to give praise to a writing team that didn't even need to have Chuck apologize to Jenny for over 30 episodes about the incident on the 'Kiss on the Lips' party for an audience to embrace him in his entirety. The majority of us really thought that this was never going to be addressed but alas it was and it was done in such a way that it STILL made Chuck look in a positive light. I mean... you can't get more awesome than that.

So we know Chuck makes 101 mistakes, we know he loses things all the time, and that he's rained down up all the freaking time. Yet, through all of this he still manages to not only have our attention, that of the writers and the media. How does he do it? Why does this happen? While Nate gets hate and Dan is called judgemental why is Chuck still on top? Well, like he said in 'New Haven Can Wait'. He owns us. He owns the writers, he owns the media and that's what makes him fucking interesting and root-worthy. Fucking deal with it.

Part 2 - THE ACTOR THAT STEALS THE SCENES

A lot of Chuck has to do with Ed. Let us face it. As I have stated before I am the first to admit not being infatuated with Mr. Westwick. He's just not my type yet for all my reservation I will be the first to admit that he's got incredible screen presence and tons of sex appeal. He's not your traditionally good-looking fellow like Chace is or has the stoned poet look to him like Penn. He's a bit more rustic and untamed. But regardless of how he looks OFF set Ed COMMANDS screen presence.

That is something that can neither be taught or developed. You're either born with it or you're not. It's that simple. When Chuck slinks into a room, in the background you instantly notice him. He has a magnetic pull to him, from the way he stands to the way he talks to his actions. You should be grossed out by him. He's sleazy, he lacks manners, he's brash but yet... you're kinda ok with it. He's got a very old acting soul to him; which is what makes him bankable. Exploitable, if you will, as a teen actor. It's a very rare occasion that a teen show can have an actor such as him. Usually actors of his kind, especially British ones are often snapped up and placed in films. So, when having such talent on your set it's NATURAL that the writers are not only inspired by him but more than willing to flesh him out to the bare bone in order to get the most out of their storylines. Which brings us to our next point.

Part 3 - WHAT MAKES OR BREAKS AN INSPIRATION

Most avid TV viewers are familiar with the fool-proof method of casting a teen show. What makes a teen show? Pretty faces. What keeps people interested in the show? Faces with dept. That's just a magical equation. The same can be said with Gossip Girl. The producers used Chace and Blake's pretty faces to bring us into the show. However, it's been Leighton and Ed who have taken over the audience and the overall draw to the show. That's just facts, dont bother arguing because I will counter it.

The question now comes into place - WHY are the writers obsessed with all things Chuck-related? The answer is pulled from the previous two sections and combined into the catalysts that make it all happen. You have a character with some serious dept, combined with a stellar actor and you end up with writers that can't stop fucking writing for Chuck. That's it. That's your reason. You have to understand that writers, as a whole, as obsessive creatures. When they become fixated with a story or a plot they live, eat and breathe it. They become part of it, they think about it all the time. And it nearly seems that all else become mute and unimportant against the vast wall they have created for their chosen favorite child.

So it comes as no surprise that the writers of our show are fucking obsessed with Chuck. All actions and all activities will somehow rendezvous back to Chuck. Chuck, chuck, chuck. If you've told yourself to hate him then I can imagine it's unbearable for you to even be around this fandom. If you love Chuck you will see nothing wrong with it ;)

So when we tell you that you have to be realistic and see that Nair will NEVER be endgame it's because we're looking at the back story of it all. No amount of fanciful explanations will ever do because Chuck has been cultured to be the main of this story. Why do you think Nate is falling apart? Why do you think Blair is so in love with Chuck? Why do you think Jenny heard an apology for Chuck? Why do you think there's so much Vanessa hate? Why do you think people even like Eric? Because it really is all about Chuck. I've given you reasons as to why it's all about Chuck. You can take them or leave them, it makes no difference. Like Chuck said: he owns you. End of story.

Friday, April 24, 2009

stupid people can be SO CUTE!




You all have been so FUCKING patient! You've waited for a while here, thinking there was no more wankings to be had but the truth is there's ALWAYS fucking wankings to be had! We LOVE WANKING THIS MOTHERFUCKING FANDOM!!!

God, I love them! You all ready? Because I may be on fire tonight and these are totally going down, bitches!


I think the pair are really sweet together. Ther act like a couple and do more normal things that teens would do. Blair and Chuck have tension, but together they seem around 30 years older than their actual age with Chuck constantly blowing hot and cold, drinking scotch, acting out strange cruel intention type games whereas Nate and Blair are sweet and romantic. Blair seems so much more innocent with him, discussing Brangelina and remembering their growing up days. I think Blair and Chuck have undeniable chemistry, but Blair and Nate are much sweeter and down to earth.

ME: Because ALL TV shows are based on sweet realistic relationships that make us tune in week after week as we wait on the edge of our motherfucking seats in order to find out what fucking restaurant they are going on their fucking seven-month anniversary! Yeah, it's a fucking page-turner! Now. I've seen you all over the web posting about the Brangelina mess. Really? LEAVE BRANGELINA ALONE. Just no. Find a new angle, baby girl. How about a new couple?

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Oh C'mon ppl!!! Penn & Leighton are HOT!!! I really love the idea of DAN & BLAIR hook up!! and if this thing happen, I'll consider to watching GG again. can't wait...

ME: WOW! A new strain in the Kool-Aid phenomenon. Apparently there's a new Orange Kool-Aid and it makes you think that in this universe or the next Blair and Dan hooking up is an AWESOME idea. Because Blair needs ANOTHER judgmental man in her life. She's fucking begging for it. On that note, she may wait a long ASS time. Like to infinity and beyond.

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(OMG, our friend the NB Powder Ranger who will soon be renamed the NB Attention Seeker!)

I'm Nate/Blair till the end. Unless I decide Blair isn't good enough for Nate at some point. I guess this is possible. Nate is the shit after all. I already mentioned my plans in the unlikely event that things go badly for me. I will go into hiding until things blow over and then I will come back and act like every opinion I have ever had was correct. (Not really that much of a stretch.)

ME: Girly, I'm SO tired of wanking you it's not funny. You need to start giving us some fresh thoughts, because as much as you'd like to you can't be this discombobulated and still be interesting. You just can't. I suggest you drink some (of your Kool-Aid) go back to the creative room, mix somethings up and come back to the table with some fresh new ideas :D

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For those of you who think that Chuck is not Emo why don't you go consult your GG Koolaid Bible, even they agree he has been OOC and duller than he was in Season 1. Chuck's Emo now, get over it. Maybe he won't be forever, but he sure as hell is now. Other characters on the show have been in "love" and they didn't go all freakishly Emo. The writers made him Emo, hopefully they make him snap out of it soon. And by the way Season 1 Chuck would annialate Season 2 Chuck. Anybody could see that... Also, Chuck apolgizing to Jenny was LAME. The reason we like Chuck is because he is an inexcusable asshole. That was why he found a fast following in Season 1. He is just plain better when he is a disgusting, perverted, malicious dick. I don't care if you guys think it was "human" of him. I don't want Chuck Bass to become a pussy and he is well on his way.

ME: OH BABY, you SHOULDN'T have. You just SHOULDN'T have because if you read me AT ALL you know I have a fucking mouth and you know I love to use it (wink). One. Kool-Aid is for you. Yes, YOU. YOU have a Kool-Aid bible. Ok? I am OFF the Kool-Aid. You see the distinction? I'm glad we got that straight. TWO. NO ONE. And I mean NO ONE puts Charles Bass in a fucking corner if this fandom has ANYTHING to do with it. Ok? You just let me know when and where and they'll be a rumble in the Bronx. Three, and listen carefully to this one. You are going to have to UNDERSTAND the meaning of an Anti-Hero. Bear with me, I know it's hard, the REASON Chuck is so popular is because he's an onion-boy. Your boy Nate and Dan are not. Hence Chuck, being HUMAN under layers of assholity will ALWAYS make him the one you're going to root for. We love BOTH the asshole side of him and the 'too in love with Blair to see straight' Chuck. We fucking love it. What we dont love is when he's got a hobo-tramp on him and when he forgets he ever knew Blair. Get it? THAT is inconsistent writing. THAT is what we're pissed about. Get it fucking straight. Fantastic! NEXT!

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Xmenfan246 (2 weeks ago)
Chair is just a jerk and has shown no signs of improvement. He's a manipulator, rapes Blair's friends Serena and Jenny, hooks up with random w omen, all the while claiming to love Blair. WHATEVER. At least Nate has shown signs of maturity this season. Blair and Chuck are just Cruel Intentions caricatures when they're together. Their relationship is not realisitc. Nate and Blair have more genuine moments together, and are a more realistic couple.
Xmenfan246 (1 week ago)
Nate's sins aren't as bad as Chuck.
wantedlilacs (1 week ago)
Chuck's father DIED!
ILuvBrucas4eva (4 hours ago)
his father's death doesn't excuse him for being an ass.

ME: She's obviously NEVER lost someone close to her. Hasn't seen what grief does to good and bad people.

And Nate's maturity is that of knat. Dont believe me? Check it out:




You see? I never kid about people's mental acuity.

oh, and chace crawford is a lesbian, we FUCKING LOVE YOU! Come here and give us a kiss, baby, we promise to keep you off the concentration camps! ;)

thou shall have no other gods before BASS




After years as a wishy-washy Catholic, I have decide to be a pagan. :D

The boyfriend is excited he thinks this means we will explore more in dept Kama Sutra but what he doesn't realize is that this means he'll have to talk to me in the bedroom with a low sultry Bassian voice. Poor thing.