i've been KICKED around since I was born

The RETURN of the wankings!!!!!! I know, it's been eons since we've properly wanked this motherfucking fandom! And now, since some of them are still on the Kool-Aid it's time for us to roll up our sleeves and wank the motherfuckers, eh? Who's with me?

Fuck, I've missed this!

"I know most of you will complain or be like NO WAY but i really want Vanessa and Chuck together. (let me first of all start by saying that it'll be a little more than MOST of us. Like a whole fucking lot.) I mean It was cute that at the end with chuck and blair, but to me they are so BORING! (...) God all it has been was them trying to make eachother say i love you. LIKE COME ON! And i dont know why you all hate vanessa, i mean in the beginning she annoyed the **** out of me, but when i see her and chuck scenes it makes me like her! (how? in what sense? where is the validity? where is your convincing argument? I get so disappointed when you all dont even try to convince me.) Im hoping a Chuck/Vanessa/Blaire triangle? With Vanessa and chuck ending up together of course (because that is as realistic as LD's weave)

Other couples on the show i want to happen is: Nate/Jenny Dan/...BLAIRE! I THINK IT WOULD BE AN AWSOME COUPLE, ahaha i really wanna see it happen, && THEY ARE GOING TO THE SAME SCHOOL TOGETHER... so maybe? eh eh ? (AAAAANNNDDDD the TRUTH comes out! I love it when they let themselves show who they really are! I just LOVE it. They can't help themselves, it just comes forth. A convinience shipper! LOVE THEM!)

I dont like serena i want her to be alone, i dont like her with anyone." (yeah, I can say the same for you)

ME: Bitches, I had to get my hands in this one, because it was too much to pass up. :D
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LOVEEEEEEEEEE NATE AND SERENA, NATE AND SERENA 4EVER THEY ARE DESTINED TO BE TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!!
Nate and Serena
Chuck and Vanessa
Dan and Blair <--- aha!! SPOTTED! ME: Convinience shipper #445,987 dont you just love them?

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Uhh he somehow found her scrap book under bed and she had no idea that's effing creepy... not to mention he apparently hadn't been in her room till 1x03 "That's what your bed looks like.." so we are supposed to believe some where between 1x03 and 2x24 he went into her room and through her things.. probably during 1x11/1x12 when he went all psycho on her for not wanting him back.

ME: ... I... someone find this person a new show. Maybe in TV Land or Cartoon Network, please?

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The only thing that didn't fail in the last eppie was Nate, he was no way in the wrong.. because low and behold it was Chuck chucking up Blair's prom like always so Nate was right. Chuck said he'd let her go, yet he couldn't help but interfere not to mention being such a creepy stalker.. going through Blair's crap is not romantic its borderline illegal. This episode only managed to solidify my utter distaste for the fail that is Chuck Bass I miss badass awesome Chuck, i'm sick of this Jesus wannabe trying to make Blair "happy", if he really wanted her to be happy her would have left her alone like he said he would.

ME: 'Chuck chucking up' - it's got a ring to it, doesn't it? I mean, I kinda like it, near borderline. Well, the moment he left her alone she left Nate so missions accomplished because staying in a relationship where people dont really love one another is just perfect, right? I just hope this person doesn't practice in real life what she preeches because she's in for some serious relationship problems.

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WHY don't they write vanessa an actual storyline that is unburdened by hot beverages? her tryst with chuck bass was so promising, but where did it leave her? in brooklyn, playing go fish with a fifteen(fifty) year old flame out named jenny humphrey on prom night! those dove commercials are not enough for jessica szohr!

ME: The answer is simple, my friend. Because we dont fucking care. That's why and the writers dont care about her story either or they wouldn't have yanked her around like a puppy in training during the last few episodes of this season. And TRUST me. The Dove commercials are more than enough. MORE than enough.

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The prom episode should have been epic, instead prom was not even the main storyline. I still don't understand why Nate & Blair broke up; that could have been done better. You suddenly don't want to be with him because you started dating in high school? Huh? And didn't Nate just buy them an apartment a couple weeks ago?

ME: She missed that whole episode where Blair is in love with Chuck and basically asked him to confess his feelings so she could leave Nate. I mean; this is the only explanation for this senile statement. She's just missed episodes. Like she's missed points in this storyline.

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Why did they have to ruin everything? NB were just perfect couple... I don't see Chuck and Blair together, they are better without each other or as "scheme"friends:D So what now, BC holding hands? ;/ I liked Chuck so much in season 1 as a womanizer, now I really dont;/ I miss season 1...and I regret that they made too many changes from the book, which is perfect and Blair Nate are actually main copule there!

ME: First of all, what does this ;/ mean? Because it looks like some strange new Kool-Aid inspired smiley-face that I'm not hip enough to know, you know? Yes, let us emulate the books where Nate is never sure who he wants and ends up leaving BOTH Blair and Serena. 'PERFECT'.

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(on the new Leighton interview)
You'll be able to see her with Dan when they have hot drunken study group sex. And I'm sorry but it actually kind of disappoints me that she's saying she's so supportive of a relationship that has been dysfunctional and unhealthy for the both of them. But then again, Leighton does have a tendency to spout the company line regarding who Blair is hooked up with at the time.

ME: WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?? ARE YOU MOCKING THE QUEEN? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?? You think me and everyone else is going to sit there and take it just because she doesn't like your ship because she's got some fucking sense? Dan's first love is always going to be Serena and Leighton knows that. He'll always come back to her because it's the way he's been written now shove OFF and dont you dare mock the Queen again! FUCK! You can curse me all you like but you do not mock the Queen or my bebes, is this clear? Good, go sip on your angry!Kool-Aid!

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This entire conversation is GOLD. Just gold! I'm just bolding my favorite parts :D

"For serious though, I didnt have a problem with blair breaking up with him bc I knew that would eventually happen but I hated how she literally went from being sooo happy to being randomly sullen. That scene was so out of no where. And Nate needs to stop being mute, they never give him any dialouge anymore!"

"the whole thing was sooo contrived. She was over the moon and then in the next scene she's depressed. I knew the break-up was coming, but it should have been way more epic. We're talking like, five or six years of history between them here. The only other characters who have that kind of history are Serena and Blair, and they got a really great scene at the end of the episode. AND SERIOUSLY, WTF at Nate's muteness. You can't have a good break-up scene if only one person is doing the nonsensical talking"

"Come on Blair, you'll never find a guy as good as Nate! "

"or as hot as him! Chuck has a flat face and weird body hair!" (HAHAHAAAAAA)

"I don't know what she sees in Chuck - he's not attractive, nor is he a nice person! D:" (because Blair is a SWEETHEART)

ME: Aw, man! I'm so going to FUCKING MISS THEM!!! They're slowly dwindling away into nothing until one day you'll have the problem some of them have over at GG Insider. Where the last post in our favorite Nair thread is someone asking if there's any Nair fans left. She asked that yesterday EARLY morning and still no one has replied. Can one of you please go in there and at least PRETEND to like Nair like they PRETENDED to like Chuhobo? I mean, she can't possibly think they're all in vacation, can she? Can she???

Fuck. That is 2 weeks worth of wanks. I'm so depressed!!!

vuckers are like ZOOMBIES... no really

Ok, I cannot tell you how EXCITED I was at receiving this. I mean, some real CVers for reals!! After all this time! #$%^&@ and right before a new episode?? After I've taken 20 aspirins?? You all LOVE me! So let us wank this fool because it's just too good to be true! Man, I've missed a good wanking, I've been so depressed about it lately that it's just put me in a foul mood.

Oh and yes, this is the SAME person.

U guys are so mean, it really sux. Anyways, she's not one of my favs but I like her in the show. Maybe V will grow even more next season, I'm looking forward to and... Vuck? The new Bluck. LOL I like Vanessa and Chuck, I found it really interesting. It's way better than the idea of Bluck as a cute romantic and steady couple. I want the Chuck Bass back now and a love/hate relationship with Vanessa would be cool. But I know that's probably just me and a few anyway LOL I'm just hoping for surprises.

ME: To begin with my eye twitched a few times at the random 'sux' and ridiculousness of the entire post. But you know, once I got over that I was able to real enjoy myself. Ok, baby, Vanessa has had 2 seasons, 35 credited episodes to do something for me other than piss me the hell off. So if in 35 episodes all the writers have managed to do was to get the majority of the fandom to want her gone or in a corner I highly doubt attempting to make her just FANTASTIC next year will make her an army. It will quite honestly have the opposite effect. AND PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF PINK LEMONADE WHICH I LOVE SO MUCH DONT YOU EVER EVER EVER EVER SAY 'VUCK IS THE NEW BLUCK' BECAUSE PEOPLE WILL FUCK YOU UP. Really, I'm just looking out for your well being. I have never seen Chair as a 'cute romantic and steady couple' but if you do I totally understand, it's the affect of the Kool-Aid. Not your fault, kid. And those things are not called 'surprises' they're called OMFG-moments with no substantial back-story backing.

As if any of you would really stop watching the show because of Vuck, anyway. That's the problem with gg... 'fans' - u guys keep pressuring with this 'bluck or cancellation' shit and it's really pathetic.

ME: FACT. People HAVE stopped watching because of Chuhobo, people I know, people that often posted, wrote fanfiction, made icons, made videos. Fans. Fans stopped. And I LOVE that she admits that she's not part of the GG fans. "That's the problem with gg... 'fans' - u guys" that tells me that you really dont know us or are part of US for that matter.

And we have more chance of seeing old school Chuck Bass back in a tormented relationship with Vanessa than steady in a romance with Blair, I think that's obviously a fact.

ME: Another statement of proof that she neither understands nor appreciates a good character progression. Characters should innately stay the same, participating in random acts of promiscuity in order to give you a good surprise. WANK me a river, baby, because I'm all out of tears.

But for the sake of insanity and waiting for the recap I propose a poll.

poll by twiigs.com

there's nothing left to EXPLORE

One should always begin a Sunday with a good old fashioned WANKING. It's a no-contest rule. It should be a the 12th commandment because you know the 11th one is thou shall only worship Chair. So... 12th commandment should be followed.

I never said he didn't have feelings for Blair; it just isn't love. He wants what he can't have. When did he put himself out for Nate, and Nate rejected it? When Nate needed somewhere to live? I don't blame Nate.. he probably has a REALLY tough time trusting Chuck after what he did. He knows Chuck can be a huge ass and low life. Just like last episode, he proved himself to be a huge dick by trying to steal Blair away from Nate. Chuck's feelings for Blair? Oh please, he's sleeping with a new girl every other episode. Because he IS the bad guy betwene the two in their friendship. I like Chuck as a character BECAUSE he is a sleaze bag. Yes, he has been sincere at some points in the past (aka trying to help Nate) but sorry, what he did to Nate was so much worse. If my best friend ever did that, I'd have a reeally reeeally hard time forgiving them. Oh right, because a good friend sleeps with his best friend's girlfriend? No, Chuck is the douchey friend.

ME: My favorite part of the whole thing is that she contradicts herself. So Chuck can't be trusted because he's done bad things but he's been sincere in trying to help Nate out. So which is it? And speaking of trust issues aren't we forgetting that it was with Blair's best friend that Nate fucked up with - and Blair is expected to forgive and forget yet Nate can't be bothered to do the same thing for his best friend? Because if I remember correctly Blair forgave her BOYFRIEND instantly. The LEAST Nate can do is offer forgiveness back to someone else. After it was done to him. But he neither forgave Blair or Chuck even when Blair came clean to him. On the contrary, he treated her like shit. Then he 'forgives' Chuck and turns around and gets mad at him for a reason we're still unfamiliar with.

You cannot put the blame on either here, the least you can do is woman up and realize that both have been in the wrong many times. And I'm not even arguing Chuck's feelings for Blair because we ALL know how he feels and Blair will also know in 3 episodes, the only one who is out of the loop is you. And really, once more Blair is not a commodity. She's not a stock bond. She's not property. The girl will make her own decisions and will go her own fucking way that she pleases. HOWEVER, she say it herself. Once Chuck confesses that he loves her she will be his. Just like she confessed that she loved him, hence his heart will always belong to her. They said it. Not me. The writers. Take it up with them.

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Well maybe if Chuck didn't completely fuck over Nate in the first place he wouldn't be so worried.. I think he trusts Blair, just not Chuck and I don't blame him.. he deserves a way better best friend than Chuck, soo sketchy.

ME: Blair said it herself. Nate doesn't trust her. He didn't deny it. Flawed argument.

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Actually it's not 80% of viewers who would agree with you..... it's only 68% cuz remember we had that poll of Spoiler TV a couple of weeks ago and Nair got 15%....... it's low but come on, it showed that Nair is the second biggest fan base of GG and that says alot. Chicken-Muffin, please get over the fact the Nair actually have fans. I mean, every couple is going to fans no matter what. We do not have to explain to you why we love Nair, it's our opinion. It's like the same way how I can't figure out why people ship Chair because I think that Chuck is ugly as hell. Fat, big forehead, big nose, nerd hair, and did I mention fat? But that's a different topic on it's own. So please get over that Nair has fans! It's no surprise hunny

ME: I HATE 'cuz'. I mean, it just gets under my skin and drives me insane. And really, the online polls DO NOT reflect actual viewers, just the ones online. Which means these percentages can drastically change. I actually believe Darena has much more fans OFFLINE than they do online. Of course Nair will have fans, they were the couple in the books, it's when you try to justify this plot-driven mess that gets you wanked. And ONCE MORE, bringing in physical appearance as a way to dethroning and putting down the ship is really not going to get you any respect from us. We've always said that Nate is really pretty. He's just that - pretty. Find a new angle.

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Well here's my prediction:
the GG spoilers made it pretty freakin clear that B will end up with C in this season.
but what will happen next season? one of the reasons i think C is so into B is because of the excitement of the chase. i saw someone mentioned in one of the older posts that C only wants B when she's with another dude, and i think theyr totaly right!
in the next season i think C will grow bored of not having the excitement of pursuin B so he'll just go back to his old ways and let B fall flat on her face lol.
oh B, dont u ever learn? shoulda stuck with handsome lovin nate.

ME: Yeah. I think you're totally wrong. So let's get that out of the way first, ok? And I love that because Nate is handsome he will not let her fall flat on her face. I mean, I dont know why I didn't see it before. I'm baffled. I'm usually smarter than this. Nathaniel that fall-breaker. He's 100% inanimate object now. That's MY prediction.

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I honestly think Vanessa is the only girl Chuck could ever fall in love with, every scene they've had i've seen something so different in the way C is with her. It's like she's so anti-everything he is that he has this sort of inherent trust in her, or something idn. He always seems to let his guard down around her, in a way i never see with anyone else.

ME: OK, NO. You ridiculous Vucker, Chuck is ALREADY in love with Blair. He just hasn't said it. Blair needs him to say it. Statistically speaking the less people have in common, the less alike they are is the less they will last. It's just fact. Long marriages and strong marriages will always tell you 'we had so much in common'. I mean, isn't that what a friend says to you when they meet someone they really click with. Which is in term where the term 'click with' comes from. Any of this ring any bells? And you've obviously missed CHUNKS of episodes if you haven't seen Chuck letting his guard down because I accurately remember 1.08, 2.01, 2.07, 2.08, 2.13, 2.14 and 2.15 of Chuck showing Blair parts of him that no one sees. Stores must be sold out of blindfolds because MAN, you must've piled them on!

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But i don't believe he's really in love with Blair, i think he's in love with the idea someone like Blair could love him... but i don't think he actually loves her because he can't accept the reality of being in love with a Blair that's "domesticated". Where as Vanessa is just the polar opposite, way more chill and not so focused on the "future".

ME: I still didn't get a reason as to why they would 'click well' together. I just know that she's his opposite and that she's focused on the future which in term would mean domestic tranquility, would it not? Same will chill would represent someone you can be calm and grow old with which will circle back to domestication.

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"Detour with a boho barista and I remembered I`m a 17 year old billionaire with incredible stamina" Obviously Vanessa`s gourgeousness fixed whatever erection problem Chuck had

ME: (give me a moment while I laugh)

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CB is alright i just dont see what the fuss is about they dont do it for me i prefer mushy love stories not agnst

ME: Yeah. I prefer people skipping in fields, while ducks swim in the background, and romantic instrumental music plays. It's fucking riveting especially as they stare at one another - in love. Ahhh... mush.

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Nate and Blair are so sweet with each other. They actually speak to each other rather than make downgrading sarcastic comments at each other. Blair and Nate really work for me. They're cute together.

ME: Just to clarify. By speaking we're ignoring that they ignored one another for over 13 episodes, right? Because... I'm thinking that's the only way the statement can be correct. If we ignore parts of the show. And once more, since they didn't talk and they're 'cute' they obviously work out.

I'm like out of juice, man. These arguments are getting more and more repetitive. I like, need new material. Some bat crazy shit like the great V defender or something. Something out of a Pollock painting. That would be GREAT.

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE DAY!!!

Oh you know what it damn well is! It's WANKING THE STUPID MOTHERFUCKING FANDOM!!! Oh man. I guarantee you will laugh in this one. I could hardly type because some of these were SO fucking amusing!! Here we go, babes!!

Ok, so How can you spot a Nairer?

Because they can't fucking hear, their ass is on fire and they think NOTHING is wrong. Carry on, motherfuckers! Sip your Kool-Aid from the sippy cup!

You all ready for it? Because it's going to be FUCKING amazing!!

i think its really stupid that chuck hasn't mentioned vanessa, they had a deep connection and blair belongs with nate right now and dan with serena and that's how its going to be or im going to cry

ME: *passes tissue* Baby, I've had cookie-sheets with more dept than that.

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CHUCK STAY AWA FROM BLAIR SHE LOVES NATE NATE LOVE HER GO AWAY U R SO FAT!

ME: I can't take it. I just can't. HOW do these people function in their everyday???

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(the best conversation of the day)

NBer- Aww NB are so awesome Nate said ily , why do you have to ruin them Josh why??

CBer - ...

ME: That is just WRONG. Granted I had the SAME reaction when I read it. But really. You didn't even offer her a tissue. Or a Valium. Or a fucking clue. Be generous out there, they're starting to fall the fuck apart. The thing is that I know what she's thinking as she types those dots. She's like... you dumb fuck... go find a clue.. somewhere else... you're disturbing the rest of us who are OFF THE FUCKING KOOL-AID!

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I dont understand! Why is everyone sad, we got an I LOVE U from Nate, this is AWESOME! Then when they break up it'll be all because they love one another but chuck got in the way and they'll be together again!

ME: ...

people are particularly STUPID today

Yes, they continue talking and we continue wanking. I think I've come to the conclusion that along with Kool-Aid poisoning comes a serious case of verbal diarrhea. Now... let us entertain ourselves until we find out if there's to be a Monday in America tomorrow.

"yes, I hope that will happen, then we can see that C falls in love with V, that'll be great"

ME: The stupidity speaks for itself. She's an eediot on the Kool-Aid, a very common occurrence these days.

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I used to be theee biggest Chair shipper around and although a part of me is still very much rooting for this couple, I am currently enjoying the Nair lovey doveyness and also although its totally AU and exists solely in the world of fan fiction, I have been convinced that Dair would be the most awesome pairing ever! Any other Chair fans had a Damascus like conversion to any of these ships recently?

ME: MAN, SHUT THE FUCK UP! No. No. No. NO YOU FUCKING WEREN'T THEEEE BIGGEST. YOU dont know the MEANING of being a fan so SHUT THE FUCK UP! The fact that you even CONSIDERED yourself a Chair fan is insulting so I prefer it if you claimed you shipped Rufus/Dan before and I will have more fucking respect for you. I'm beginning to understand why these people love Nate, they jump from one ship to another the way Nate jumps through women. They can totally identify with him and his floundering emotions.

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gossipfan, the same thing thats happening to you is happening to me! I still love Chair but I'm loving Nair and think Dair would be great. I know it sounds crazy,but I can't help it!! : )

ME: Yes. It's fucking crazy. We here at the Kool-Aid believe you to be FUCKING CRAZY. Good, since we've established it we can move the fuck on.

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OMGF all you "Chair" lovers out there get a life. Chuck is ugly, and dosen't care about Blair one frickin bit. GET OVER IT! There never going to be a couple. Nate is soooooooooooooo much hotter anyway

ME: OK. First of all, if you're going to insult me AT LEAST try to make it grammatically correct. Ok? And second of all AT LEAST attempt to control the stupidity that is flowing from your mouth. Ok?

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Does it still matter? Don't you just want Blair to be happy whoever she's with? if she gets Nate she gets YALE!YALE!YALE!YALE!YALE!

ME: IDIOT!IDIOT!IDIOT!IDIOT!IDIOT!IDIOT!IDIOT!

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Grow up. Just because someone likes another couple besides your precious Chair doesn't mean you should be rude. Saying things like you're not a true Chair fan if you jump ships is ridiculous. You can love a couple, but like others too. There's more to gossip girl then Chair. Live with it.

ME: Since the writers themselves have FAILED to make this show about something more than Chair your entire argument is lacking substance to begin with. Secondly, we can say whatever the fuck we want. Live with that.

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"Excuse Moi? Let me put this diffrently. My favourite group is Girls Aloud. But my current favourite song is by The Satardays, despite the fact Girls Aloud also have a song in the charts. Does that make me less of a Girls Aloud fan? No? Didn't think so. So how is it diffrent from saying. 'My favourite pairing is C/B, but i'm prefer the Nair storyline at the moment.'"

ME: Fucking multi-shippers, I HATE them so very much, you all have no idea. There seems like there's no sense of understanding amongst them, no sense of loyalty and no sense of the French language either.

they didn't clean their PIPES

There is a reason we're so very enamoured with Alice and her words right now. It's her magic with statements. On that line of view, can I say HELL VUCKING YEAH?? 400!!!!!

We kinda feel bad for Korbi, she totally got creamed with statements from fans. Here is another cream-worthy statement from our very own Alice:

Korbi, I just want to reiterate everybody's thank you's. There is just a lot of frustration going around at the moment, not just limited to Blair and Chuck fans. I personally am more aggrieved at the general narrative inconsistencies and character assassination that has been going on since episode 17.

Vanessa Abrams is the worst casualty of all and it is her character which I will address in this post. Having seemingly toiled to make an insufferable prig of a character somewhat tolerable, if not likable, current writing has not only rendered her progress void, but has actually made her even more repellent to even more people! Placing her between arguably two of the show’s most beloved characters who are in the midst of a love story which has been painstakingly developed over the course of two seasons, makes absolutely no sense. If this is a means to entwine her more securely in the world of Gossip Girl, the writers have failed. She is more of a cankerous interloper than ever before. If this is supposed to develop her character, not only have the writers failed, they have achieved the opposite. She is more of a hypocrite than anyone could have imagined and about as attached to her strongly-professed sense of morality as Blair is to wearing off-the-rack.

If this is purely a means of exploiting Jessica Szohr’s relationship with Ed Westwick, they have merely capitalised on something which should be private and should not be winked at at the expense of the fictional world which they inhabit. Which is, by the way writers, a separate entity. If they wished to explore their ‘chemistry’ (though I am loathe to apply the word to what is in this case real life seeping through the celluloid, not the alchemy of a great acting partnership) without it being detrimental to the story it interrupts, they have failed. Chuck’s dalliance with Vanessa, above all people, cheapens his love for Blair. Who cares if there is sexual tension to be had with the entire population of New York City when the entire point of this season for Chuck has been discovering whether he is capable of love; whether he will ever believe he is worthy of it. Having him sleep with Vanessa does a huge disservice to the story that they have been telling.

In short, I am utterly bemused as to the writers' intentions. I think it might be too late to redeem Vanessa, as she has never been anything more than a cypher anyway. I just hope the writers' disease can be contained before the characters most of us actually care deeply about are contaminated.

VUCKING YEAH! (I LOVE that, Cowgirl, it equates to the 4-Minute Nair! It's like I'm cursing :D) Now... one last wank because you know I vucking love wanking this vucking show! ;)

Despite all the haters, I actually pretty much like Vanessa. Surely (no questions on that) I prefer 100 % Chuck & Blair but probably affected by the real-life relationship of actors Ed Westwick (Chuck Bass) and Jessica Szhor (Vanessa Abrams), I like this couple too. I find them really cute and passionate in a way when they are together in a scene.

ME: I'M A HATER!!! ;) Now, I find it ironic that the same people that state we shouldn't hate Lady Dreadlocks because she's with Ed because we should separate the characters from the RL are the same ones that have let that same thing affect their... 'appreciation' of Chuhobo. I dont know about you but that almost seems as contradictory as the Nairers, dont you all think? I think it's the Kool-Aid, poor vuckers can't vucking see straight.

the SHORT-LIVED picturesque & the VUCKness of it all

I was thinking the other night about Nairers. Listening to their convoluted words, their randomized statements, their obligated attraction to disintegrate Chair in order to elevate Nair and I came to a conclusion. The majority of these Nairers, with the exception of a selective few, see Nair almost 'picture-perfect' and I mean that in a literal sense. Like a picture with no words, where emotions are conveyed in beautiful silhouettes, lacking background information but so very stunning with the snowy backdrop and the ducks. The reason I say this is because based on their arguments it's almost like they're arguing on the perfection of a picture rather than the imperfection of a statement.

Chair, being more like a statement, where things are far from perfect, where there is more information to support an argument, where one can analyse based on concrete information rather than the picturesque. It makes sense if one thinks about it, if we genuinely try to understand what they're attempting to convey in their words. It makes SENSE that they see it as a pictorial perfection because that's what has been presented to us via the TV. Of course Monday's episode will give movement to the picture but for how long? We have confirmation that things will unravel for Nair and soon so the appreciation of it's beauty will most likely remain the same sentiment in the majority of them just like our disdain for them will continue for us based on our ability to see beyond the picture-perfect postcard.

Also, I wanted to talk about Vuck and no I dont mean the 'ship' I mean the shipper name created. Doesn't is sound like something a sci-fi show would use to replace FUCK? Like frak or something. I can see it being used in a few years in order to populate the ever adored profanity on television. Like Captain John Alabaster, of 'Pluto 4500' will scream to his crew "WHAT THE VUCK IS GOING ON IN HERE?" or "WHAT THE VUCK WAS THAT?" (and rightfully so as it was our general reaction to that vuckery last episode) and millions of nerds will use it in their T-shirts and shout it at Comic-Con.

KOOL-AIDers? Are you trying to SEDUCE me?

So it goes like this. Some bitches will love what we do. Some others will fucking hate it. It's just that simple. This bitch right here? FUCKING LOVES IT. So we continue our ever delightful FANDOM WANKING!! Because YOU too can be stupid enough to WANK!! I think everyone has the right to be wanked, I know some of you must be sad that we haven't wanked your stupidity as of yet but dont you worry! I am sure you will annoy someone out there enough for them to send in your Kool-Aid inspired statement! Bring it on!


On our Anti-Vanessa Petition ;) 231!!!!

This so cruel! I would never ever imagine that so many people forget that behind the character there is a real person, Jessica, who has done nothing that terrible for people to wish she loses her job! It's not "Vanessa's" fault that many GG viewers don't like her, it's the producers/writers fault who don't know what to do with her character. I believe that people should be demanding some creative writing for GG's characters and not writing-off some character.


ME: YOU all DO NOT need to worry, considering that her fans think she's BEAUTIFUL AND TALENTED beyond belief she will have NO trouble becoming the next Megan Fox. We're helping her out, really. She's NOT shinning in Gossip Girl and she will one day thank us. Also, no amount of re-writing her is going to make the people who already HATE her like her. It's just not. She'll be the new Riley and people still shudder at the thought of that piece of disastrous character.

Vanessa hasn't even been given a chance to really shine yet. Her character does have a lot of potential and I think it's stupid that everybody knocks her and doesn't really have a reason for it. No she should definitely STAY on the show.

ME: Babygirl, she's had 2 fucking seasons to win me over. At the end of these 2 season I can't even STAND to look at her in my TV, that tells you her time has been badly used and should just be replaced for someone the audience can root for. Aren't we tired of this show having all these MEDIOCRE characters? I am! I want other character I can love and look forward to their scenes! Also, check out my Mary Sue post and if that's not enough I will personally write you a cohesive essay as to WHY people HATE Vanessa. With bullet points.

Just randomized stupidity, my fave!

Okay, it's one thing to bash couples and an episode, but it's another thing entirely to complain about the fans. We're entitled to like whatever couples we want and there is nothing wrong with shipping more than one couple. It's just a TV show; we're allowed to change our minds as to what couples we like and we're allowed to like more than one at different points in a show. Blair became more like herself in these past few episodes. In You've Got Yale, Carnal Knowledge, and The Age of Dissodance, she became just annoying, whiny, and screechy, and she's my favorite character. However, toward the end of The Grandfather, she regained her poise that makes Blair Blair. And the fact that she is a hopeless romantic is a large part of her character and always has been. However, if you thought she acted like a whiny schoolgirl, that's your opinion and you're entitled in it.

ME: I agree, therefore WE are entitled to dislike who we want to dislike. INCLUDING you. You're welcome to ship-jump, ship-change, ship-fuck ALL you fucking like. HOWEVER, be prepared for bitches like me to point out that I dont like your well crafted hypocrisy and I think ALL that you said is under the influence of the motherfucking KOOL-AID. On Blair? Let me ask, do you understand the concept of character regression? Because if you dont, I would look into it. It'll clear up A LOT of confusion.

-------

I also think Chuck has always liked Vanessa. There's something about her that appeals to him, for some reason, and he has always been at least somewhat gracious to her.

ME: This stupid fuck is just drowning on the motherfucking KOOL-AID. We do remember when Chuck bought her off, right? Or when he changed his mind about seducing her when Blair told him she was getting a Brazilian wax, right? Gracious indeed. Doesn't matter, she's getting written off soon, we have faith in that and then we dont have to listen to your stupidity that makes us twitch.

-------

on Blair fighting long and hard for Chuck:
"Long and hard? 2 episodes qualifies as long and hard? Blair never fought for Chuck. But I don't hold it against her. The reason she never fought for Chuck is because she has always been in love with Nate. Chuck was the rebound guy. And now that Nate is back in the picture...she no longer needs him." some people already know the fate of NB and will do anything to have Chuck away from Blair: "I hope that Chuck will fall in love with G so we can get rid of him , ah I hate him..''


ME: *is befuddled* Yes. This person REALLY believes this. I wonder if she believes in the tooth-fairy also because it would make TOTAL sense. This particular troll was just last week posting all over about CV. Now she's got a new angle with the new stills that came out. Dont be surprised if after next episode 80% of the 'CV supporters' turn to 'CG supporters'. ANYTHING to keep Chuck and Blair away from one another.

------

''I remember Nate questioned whether or not Blair cared about Chuck and even said she was maternal. Blair quickly denied this because she didn't want to give Nate the wrong idea. (Pretty solid proof if you ask me).''

ME: Yes, people. She turned OFF her TV after that moment because she obviously didn't see the rest of this episode. That or she continued watching with her fingers stuck in her ears and singing 'LALALALALAAAAA' loudly while blinking rapidly.

So you see, whenever you feel left out because you haven't been WANKED just post something that is liable to piss the shit out of your fellow men and at one point or another your stupidity will be WANKED!

STUPID is as STUPID does

Has anyone noticed that the fandom is a bit quiet lately? Like in the past few days? Anyone noticed this? Sigh. PLEASE keep the random stupidity coming. It's like AIR! More wanking, MOTHERFUCKERS!

On a less philosophical note, the reason C & V were hot is partially because of how Nate and Blair acted during the episode. N&B should never have happened - EVER. And the way they happened was really disgusting. When C & V hooked up it felt a little like vendication.

ME: OK, HONESTLY. HONESTLY! You expect ME to LISTEN to ANYTHING you have to MOTHERFUCKING say AFTER you just called CV hot? WHAT THE FUCK? Are you still talking? Is there an ECHO? I bet you were one of the ones that you to claim that CV would ruin things for you, right? I know your type because I know your type. Like am I'm a type. I'm the type that says SHUT THE FUCK UP - that's my type. Here's your sippy cup back.

--------

i used to ship chair, but i never will again because i do not want to associate myself with some of the shippers.

ME: DONT YOU WORRY, MY LITTLE JUMPING BOSTON JELLY BEAN. WE dont want to associate you YOU EITHER. AND I love that you move around because of other people. That's kinda hypocritical, isn't it? Ship something you can't believe passionately about? No wonder you're attracted to Nair. It's a four minute mediocre relationship patched up by a lame attempt at boosting ratings and starting fandom wars.

-------

Chuck is a sleazy, sleazy man and only wants Blair when he can't have her.

ME: I dont judge her because her DVR broke the day 2.07 & 2.08 aired. She never saw it. So, like I said. We can't blame her. She's just misinformed. Oh and 2.13 AND 2.15. Shit, this bitch's missed half the motherfucking season!

-------

CG = LOVE = NB :)

ME: I like that this one brought a mathematical equation. How about I give her back one? Ok? How about you + thoughts = disaster? Oh how about this one! YOU + words = idiocy! No? How about this motherfucking one. WATER + MIX + SUGAR = MOTHERFUCKING KOOL-AID. Yes, that shit you're drinking. I know, that last one was complicated, I hope you were able to keep up.

<3 your local intellectual ARTISTE

You have to hand it to GG Insider, this is the PERFECT time to post this motherfucking picture and let us caption it.

Here are some of our faves:

"How can I ruin this show this week...?"

Note to self: Ruin Gossip Girl. Mission accomplished.

If I hold this in front of my face, maybe they won't notice I only have two facial expressions,including this bitchface.

Steal Jenny's mail. Check. Steal Blair's identity. Check. Steal Blair's man. Check. Next, Blair's headbands!

Why did that guy yell 'Mary Sue' at me? Can't he tell that I, Vanessa Abrams, intellectual artiste, would never have such a plebeian name?

ummmm,so I have ruined Dan, Nate, and finally Chuck.
Who's next? Eric or Rufus?????

Does hypocrisy go with orange?

"Hm... what couple should I get between now?"

What I am today? A videographer? A home-schooling advocate? A slut? Hmm. I'll just go with annoying. Annoying is my signature, after all.

But I think one person takes the cake:

Ok I happen to love Vanessa's character... everyone stop hating on her!

A minute later...

my bad, didn't see it was a caption contest hahaha

She just cracked me up, I'm still laughing.

Also, someone sent me a link to some motherfucking picspam of some 'CHAIR SHIPPER' who decided to do a Chuhobo picspam. WHAT IN THE FLYING FUCK?? FUCKING MULTI-SHIPPERS MOTHERFUCKING GET ME FUCKING PISSED ON A MOTHERFUCKING FRIDAY MAKE ME WANT TO CUT SHIT AND POSSIBLY STRANGLE SOMEONE.

*breathes*

Do me a fucking favor, will you? It's INSULTING that you claim to love Chair and then turn around and fucking picspam, icon-make or anything else artistic to elevate a 4 minute ship. I rather you fell off the motherfucking boat than to carry empty weight, ok? Because that's what you are. The writers are screwing over relationships left and right and all you can do is motherfucking stand there and be all sympathetic? Do you not see how out of motherfucking character this is? OF COURSE you dont, you're drinking the MOTHERFUCKING KOOL-AID and you're fucking LIKING it. And one more thing. I dont give a SHIT that you're insulted. I dont give a shit what you think of our rants. This is the thing - the people that are seeing your shit are PISSED. But they're not going to tell you so I AM. Because I have NO PROBLEM saying it like it is. It's fucking refreshing in a world that has so many MOTHERFUCKING TWO-FACED people. Yeah. I'm talking about you.

What FUCKERS!

It's that time once more, the time to analyze all the ridiculously delicious stupidity this fandom can offer! It's like the Never ending Wanking, isn't it? Things are a bit slow right now because we're on HIATUS but I'm sure once LaJessica is let loose and more crap starts coming out we will once more be at full swing ;)

So, what else does the Kool-Aid squad have to say?

Unfortunatlely CV aren't too popular yet, so you should vote for Nair because they have better chance. GOOO NAIIIIR!!! i dislike CB....they are suck! VUCK THE BEST FUCK THE REST! Always have always will ^^

ME: You saw that. 'We are suck' - I dont know exactly what that means yet but I checked out the urban dictionary and it explained something about this person being an idiot. I just love it that she knows CV don't have a chance but she still Vucks them. Do people not realize that Vuck is just not a good shipper name? I swear, people now days just ship ANYTHING. My Chuhobo was better, tbh.

--------

chair is soooo predictable. the chair fans just believe exactly what the writers tell them to, its way more intersting/challenging to ship NAIR since its obviously the minority (: i mean, chair is so obviously gonna happen that its soo boring and expected. snores.
NAIR FT

ME: No, I didn't cut off the 'W' in the FTW. She really just meant 'for the....' and there's really nowhere to go with that so she just ended it there. As for the rest of her statement? I really can't cut down something so very stupid. I can't. And I love that the only way your couple can get interesting is because people just dont ship them. Yeah, it's the Kool-Aid talking, that's all I can say about.

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Nair fans love a Blair and Nate together more what Chair fans. They are the best! Go Nair ! Nate and Blair for ever!

ME: Yes. I copy/pasted this one. Yes, I know it makes no sense. Yes, we understand we should find this person and place her in a straight jacket. Yes, she's a menace to society. What else can we say? I guess I just dont like Nair as much as she does, she's completely right.

----------

I think that if writers gave Nate to Blair then Chuck should be with Serena. They shouldnt have done the whole track of marying lily and bart they should have gotten lily together with rufus from the beginning. Or they could have tried Dan Humphrey and Blair. Nate and blair are very boring. Dan and blair wud look much better than n and b.

ME: This person wants to apparently write the entire show over, ignore personality traits, ignore that Chuck is now adopted by Lily which does make Serena his sister (eww) and she wants to hand over the bitchiest girl on the UES to the most judgmental guy. She should consider matchmaking as a fucking career. She's be motherfucking priceless at it.

Also, for those of you at the edge of your seat, that NB-Powder-Ranger apparently resides in Spoiler TV. She's quite entertaining to read. I have a theory about her, I think she sits on that site all day and randomly posts NB POWDER all day long, she does so anonymously so she can turn around, let her second personality take over and bash someone else entirely. It's really quire the phenomenon. I could post her comments all day but really, I think she's doing it to garnish attention.

top SHIT

Are you all ready for it?? It's time, baby - it's MOTHERFUCKING TIME to WANK THIS FUCKING FANDOM AND all of its STUPID, SENILE MOTHERFUCKING INHABITANTS!!!

Oh you know you, LOVE it! It's what you come here for (that and Lady Dreadlocks bashing, because that NEVER gets old unlike her gag-worthy relationship) you wait ALL DAY for us to wank these motherfuckers, you LOVE KOOL-AID drinkers, otherwise we would have no stupidity to make fun of. So, without further adieu. I give you - today's hearty WANKINGS!!

Seriously, the stupidity continues to baffle us! But more AMUSE us because you can only be angry for so long with stupid people before you begin to pity them.

i used to really like them too. but everyone's rooting for them.. well almost.. most people are. it's just that they're so alike in a way that people think they look good together. the best looking people in the show is blair and nate for sure but i don't know if they have "spark" as they say lol.. i just don't know.

ME: I'm not sure WHAT this person meant. I dont think THEY know what they mean. But they're posting, like the rest of the confused people out there. Just happily posting nonsensical things that make you want to bash your head in. It's fantastic!

------

Have you losers still not figured out that Blair never liked Chuck? She was just waiting for another chance with Nate the entire time she was with him.

- Blair went back to Nate during her cotillion.
- Nate ended things when he discovered that Blair was a liar/tramp. Blair didn't want the relationship to end. She wanted to continue to be with Nate!!!
- Episode 18. The big reunion episode between Blair and Chuck, right? Not exactly. Even if Blair and Chuck kissed a couple of times, it only happened because Nate wasn't available to her. She even displayed her jealousy at the reception. Go back and watch the episode and listen to her warning Vanessa about dating an Archibald.
- Season 2; obviously she had to wait for Vanessa and Nate to end before she could make her move. But it worked out well for her. Nate dated a couple of women and now realizes things with Blair weren't so bad.

Blair never actually cared about Chuck. He was just convenient.


ME: This one brought me a list. It's only fair that we give her a list BACK.
- You're an idiot who cant understand a storyline if it was painted by numbers with water colors.
- Where the HELL have you been? Living under a rock? Sniffing glue? Touching LaJessica's weave? SOMETHING has you damaged, child and I'm in no way going to help you. You're fucked.
- Let me guess? In your eyes Blair didn't mean ANYTHING she said or ANYTHING she did, right? Yeah, I thought so. (NOTE: THIS IS ONE OF THOSE SEVERE CASES, SIDE EFFECTS OF THE KOOL-AID, BE WARNED)
- Go fuck yourself tonight and enjoy it - because in a few episodes your satisfaction with life will be questioned.

-------

omg if u think blairs all ooc read the BOOKS this is so blair book. i dont know why ppl think shes so ooc if u read the books you knew blair would be like this

ME: For the record - she's talking in English, I know. I was confused myself. But yes, it's English but it's English on the Kool-Aid and that is not easy to decipher and one is NEVER able to understand the meaning behind the words. So it's shit basically. Red shit.

-------

"Im just telling the truth. Most of the Chuck and Blair fans are way too obessed and are so snobby. Just because some people don't ship their couple doesn't mean they are retarded and pointless losers? yes Ed and Leighton do have chemistry but stating that Chuck and Blair are the best couple on tv? thats just going a little too far. It's funny how you slam me for being "immature" but if someone writes an insensitive comment about C/V shippers thats suddenly ok . tsk tsk C/B is overrated.

ME: YES, I'M A MOTHERFUCKING SNOB, PUT THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND FUCKING SMOKE IT! You're SMOKING everything else you might as well LOVE that weed. And yes, here at the Kool-Aid we DO believe that you are BOTH retarded and a pointless looser. That's just being honest, mate. And on life lessons. Overrated brings the ratings. Without it your little Blip and your little CV would not exists. The show would be canceled by now. If I were you I would motherfucking LOVE our overateness, biatch!

---------

Have you seen the next 5 episodes already? NO! The writers lied to their fans. They trolled their fans. Is that truth really so hard to comprehend? The blip comment was a lie. The comment about Chuck and Blair being the King and Queen...another lie. And do you know why? Because they knew being honest would negatively impact the ratings. After everyone has watched Nate and Blair for a few weeks...they will begin to look at the relationship in a more positive manner. Former CBers are warming up to it already. It's a fact.

NB POWER!

ME: for a moment I thought she said 'NB POWDER' which would make TOTAL sense because we knew they were sniffing something all along but we thought they slipped up and finally admitted it. And here are some FACTS for this insipid little slithery individual: one - talk less, know more. two: when spouting pointless shit into the world TRY not to sound like Hitler and then people might not think of you as such a lint. Which is what you are. Lint on my new black pants.

So you see? It's becoming more and more evident that people in this world are just naturally stupid creatures. Can we, in good conscience make fun of them when they're such SAD creatures? You let me know. Can we?

once upon a time, bunch of people got HIGH

I can't help but compare the Nair relationship with the relationship of Fiona and Charming. I mean, he was perfect. Perfect teeth, hair, smile, charm - blah blah. And she wanted it all, she wanted the perfect life with the perfect prince that she had been dreaming of forever. THEN this nasty creature kinda rescued her. He had no morals, no scruples, was gross, was everything she didn't want. Yet he ended up being the one she chose. She had serious self esteem issues and they lied to one another. Until they realized that she didn't want to live in the fantasy and he didn't want to be alone and an ogre anymore. This is how I see NBC and this is how I believe the writers write them also. Note: I'm still not sure who exactly Vanessa is in this story, actually, I'm not sure who exactly Vanessa is in ANY story so at least there's consistency there.

And now that we understand this dynamic, let's WANK this MOTHERFUCKING FANDOM!!!

I like how Chair fans are slowly dying so you need this thread to reassure yourselves. You are losing soldiers. Haha it's like a Greek Tragicomedy.

ME: She DOES realize that a tragicomedy has a happy ending, right? I mean, esp since it's OUR story she's referring to she just gave us like encouragement.

-----

oohh good that was the cutest kiss scene i've ever seen on the show, finally a little sweet stuff . I really dont get wut everybodys sayin about blair beeing clingy for the first time ever she's actually sweet and kind and its time for blair to grow the fuck up and stop thinking that she'll get wut she wants by hurting others.

ME: *looks around* WUT? Did you get it? Did we get it?

-----

yes yes Nair all they way!Nate/Blair is so awesome. I love that they're back to being friends and the chemistry between them is fantastic. Blair deserves so much more than Chuck and Nate can be that for her. I don't mind C/V either, since Vanessa brought out the most human side of Chuck I've ever seen, though this seems a bit desperate and pathetic of them.


ME: Let address this one in two parts. The NB part and the CV part. This is another stupid fucker who forgets all that Nate did. ALL of it. He's like a clean slatted little fluffy angel. Prince motherfucking shinning, in his white horse, shiny teeth and tussled hair. See the picture above. It's explain TONS. Now, since she's at heart an NB'er this CV angle works very well for her, doesn't it? Especially since it was Vanessa who comforted Chuck when his father died, when he's shown to be MOST vulnerable. Oh wait. That was Blair. Fuck! I'm like ALSO watching the selective channel.

---------

"Oh and I would chose Nate because I don't want to repeatedly be treated like shit. Plus, he genuinely cares about her (at least this time around), he HAS become a better person, and well he is gorgeous! I don't hate Chair but I definitely don't ship them. Blair and Nate do not have the fireworks, but I feel like they have something better than that. Nate was adorable to her in the last episode, he didn't cheat on vanessa (even though I really thought he would) That just shows he has grown up in the last year. They have a friendship now, that lack of one is what really screwed them up last time. It's easy being together, it doesn't hurt. You shouldn't ache all the time because of the person you love. They should make you feel elated and happy, I think Nate and Blair can give that to each other. They did in the last episode. I just personally think they deserve a shot together. I think they could really make each other truly fulfilled and happy. Even if you don't ship them I mean c'mon! You have to admit they look like the perfect picture couple."


ME: We have to take this one in parts because the stupidity of it continues to baffle me. I LOVE that she admits that THIS time he doesn't threat her like crap. THIS time. heh. And well, he's GORGEOUS, what else do you need to ship someone? Is there really anything else? AND because she knows she hasn't convinced us AT ALL with her crappery she throws in that you can AT LEAST ADMIT that they LOOK the perfect couple. I mean. AT LEAST admit that. Because now that they LOOK like the perfect couple they can BE the perfect couple. A moment please as I laugh my fucking ASS OFF.

--------

"I would choose Nate bec he is way nicer, sweeter, more romantic and better looking than Chuck. Going by the question, which is if I were Blair, I wouldnt want to hurt anymore. Id realize that real love doesnt hurt."

ME: I THINK what she's trying to say in her little language here is that Blair should be with Nate because he's romantic and more better looking than Chuck, which of course is a clear side effect of the juice. I also dont think she has been notified that real love is complicated. She's going to spend her entire life confused.

--------

sum of these r to long for depth of content. sum part are pointless & writing
is vry blunt. eps probly wudnt b ne better if like this.


ME: This one was sent in - it's a review on a CB fic. The reason I am posting it is because I was wondering if any of you have a English to gibberish dictionary that you can provide for us in order for us to translate it. Thank you for your cooperation!

the ship that rocked the FANDOM

Oh you fucking multi-shippers. GOD, I despise you SO much! Pick a motherfucking side, dammit! Make me want to attack them with ear wax or something equally disgusting because they make me gag.

Since there's nothing like a good fandom WANK to make us all feel better let us begin, shall we?

I liked Blair when she is with Nate.I like her vulnerability.And you girls gotta admit they are very sweet together.Whereas in the case of Chuck,its purely physical. I'm tired cos some of you here find every possible reason in the book just to put Nate down and bash him.Its absurb! Everyone likes different things so please don't say the writers are doing a terrible job,they are brilliant and deserve respect.

ME: Cos you're an idiot I will treat you as one. K? How can you enjoy a person's vulnerability - ESPECIALLY a character who HATES to show her vulnerability? Do you all even UNDERSTAND the character of Blair? I fear they dont. I really feel they think of her as this Mary Sue that is now PERFECT for Nate. It's mind-boggling. I would slam dunk the accusation of Chuck and her relationship being PURELY PHYSICAL but I've already done that. Let me provide you all with a link since I'm pretty sure repetition is the only way for you brain-deads to understand anything in life including continuity and character development. And YES. The writers ARE doing a TERRIBLE job, let me clarify this for you - if they were doing a good job of making a story flow with one another PEOPLE WOULDN'T BE SO FUCKING PISSED AND I WOULD HAVE NOTHING TO WRITE ABOUT, FUCKER. Go drink your Kool-Aid.

----

It happened last year so it makes RAPE okay? You Chuck fans really astound me... Nate is a GREAT guy, he made Blair smile in a single moment the way she hasn't smiled the entire season. It was pure, genuine happiness. And don't get me wrong, I don't hate Chuck but I *do* hate the fact that he's put on a pedestal when he has done far, far worse things, including make Blair miserable, running after random women like Elle and the soon to return Georgina - *and* plotting and sleeping with Vanessa. Blair should be with Nate, who makes her happy, not to mention more mellow, and Chuck should be alone, which is how he thrives. Sorry, I didn't mean to trod on your opinion, you are of course entitled to it.

ME: So, if it happened three years ago does it STILL count as Rape? Actually, baby - the term technically is attempted rape. As a person who worked in a law firm for many years I can tell you the case of rape would've crumbled. And this is the part that gets ME about YOU Nate fans that ASTOUNDS me. All he had to do was make Blair smile. ONCE and NOW he's a great motherfucking guy? You all have some serious skewed sense of reality. Like reality is here, in the states and you're floating somewhere near Venus. Now, on the case of Nate NEVER making Blair miserable and running after other women (cough-Serena-cough) let me point you towards another post. Yeah? And what the FUCK is up with you people wanting Blair more 'mellow' and 'calm'?? That's NOT HER! You're trying to make her into a fucking marysue and it's all going to explode in your face. God! And I totally meant to throttle YOUR opinion because I dont believe that your Kool-Aid drinking self is entitled to it.

------

Really I am SO OVER CB. He treats her like shit, they chase each other, he treats her like shit again. The End. Nate and Blair are made for each other.

ME: I love that Blair never treats Chuck like shit according to this highly perceptive person. I honestly think that these people dont understand the complexity of the dynamic. So when the writers write their complicated storylines about a complex love story these people are still standing in a corner shouting "NB ARE MADE FOR EACH OTHER". The truth is that THE END of those will come quite quickly.

--------

Here's a question for the FANS: Once the writers put Chuck and Blair together, then what? Well, for starters...the most boring show on television. I know most of you little girls are too young to remember Moonlighting, but as soon as the show put Cybil Shepard and Bruce Willis together on the show (instead of leaving them as flirtatious antagonists), it was THE END of Moonlighting. What makes you think Gossip Girl will be any different? Howzabout we let the pros do their jobs, and you just watch the show, 'kay?


ME: One. I'm not a little girl. I'm most likely MUCH older than you so I'll discard that sentiment as generalization on your part. Two. I'm excited that I get to answer a question. How to make Chuck/Blair interesting once they're together? I think she's just enticed me to do a post just on that! Using various works of fiction from our prominent writers as examples. If your imagination cannot see what can be done with Chuck/Blair as a couple then you're the one who is insulting the writers. If the writers of this show cannot write an interesting dynamic for a stable couple then they really should go back to daytime TV. 'kay?

-------

IMO they have more chemistry than C and B..maybe because they are real off screen couple?i don't know...but they were really hot!! goosebumps!

ME: I dont even have to point them out - they give themselves away now, it's getting rather humorous. So the question would be this. Once EJ breaks up what will happen? I need an answer to this question because if the only way people can have chemistry is if they are together off screen then that tells me TONS of things about their acting ability or lack of it. And yes, that's an insult to Lady Dreadlocks who I believe to be as bad as Chace in her inability to do anything other than annoy the motherfucking shit out of me.

I have more. I have TONS more. Now, I know some of you get disheartened at reading these because people's stupidity CAN get be depressing. BUT you have to understand that many of these are the same fans posting ALL over the place in order to pimp their ship. Keep it in mind.

Another thing that one must keep in mind and that is that once this enigmatic mess is over and Chair ends the season together what will happens to all of these people? You know they're going to end Nair, what will happen to all the meant to bes. When Nate goes back to whichever girl they decide to pair him up with. What will happen then? This is why I believe these people to be fools - to THINK that a storyline that is done without preamble, without construction is in ANYWAY anything other than a prop set up for the story that HAS been set up since last year. The rationality of it escapes me, the mind-set of it astounds me and the reasoning of it is still lost, as lost as the fucking continuity of this motherfucking show.

On a happy note. We're opening a can of worms ourselves. If you all have question to ask US please feel free to do so at this time. You can either send in your questions to our email OR you can leave them anonymously in the comments that way we can't track you down and corner you ;)

the pit and the IDIOCITY

I swear this fandom is ON FIRE! You all are finding the very BEST shit out there, sending it in and letting me make love to it! FUCKING LOVE YOU!

Who is ready for yet ANOTHER round of WANKING THE FANDOM??? There's endless of these, I love them! They get crazier by the motherfucking minute. Since we have confirmation that the Kool-Aid is airborne and people have to keep breathing this explains the crazy STUPID motherfuckers out there going all post-happy!

CB? they dont have chemistry at all! ewwwwwww.... after seeing V and C on screen, that is chemistry! Dan and serena, chemistry! CB? ewww


ME: Let us have a moment of silence, in respect for this person's loss of judgment. It's gone, it's been stolen and what has taken over her is some sort of half-idiot, half-chimpanzee mutation that we should all be afraid of.

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Will the fact that Chuck is a rapist and a sadist ever be dealt with or will the show continue to put him on a pedestal and overshadow the two male leads?


ME: We need to talk about this for a minute here because this person HONESTLY believes that Penn and Chace can carry this show. They REALLY believe it. I mean, she's watched the pilot and nothing else. Baby, if we're going to go back and check mark all that this show doesn't address let us contemplate a few things. Will the fact that Blair apparently had sex with Jack ever be dealt with or will the show continue to place Blair as a robo-girlfriend of Nathaniel Archibald? How about this one, eh? Will the fact that Nate is a cunt-jumping idiot ever be dealt with or will the show continue to pretend this is OK and he's a root-worthy guy? FUCK! Man, we have enough motherfucking shit swept under the mofo' rug to write an ENTIRE snore-worthy season. How about this one? Will the fact that you're a unilateral asshole ever be dealt with? The answer is YES - I JUST FUCKING DID.

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CB are officially the most painful, sad-masochistic and irritating pairing on the show. Any chance you'll be focussing on the original good guys we fell in love with - Serena/Dan and Blair/Nate?


ME: Let us think about the GOOD guys here for a moment. Blair, in all of her saintly goodness that has NEVER done anything at all to be shown in a bad light. Not making a girl fail her SATs or sabotaging random things or Nate. HOW can I forget SAINT NATE and his motherfucking SAINT BANGS who has NEVER been anything but a good guy with a confused face and a seriously low arsenal of facial expressions. How can I forget him?? OMG, because that whole sleeping with your best friend, lying about it for a year and then pursuing her was SO last year. It's like it doesn't count. FUCK OFF, will ya? Sip your Kool-Aid.

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I hate the chuck/nate friendship! Chuck is like the worst friend ever, WTF is up with him and Nate's leftovers, its pathetic! First Blair now Vanessa, please tell me this friendship is dead for a while at least and we will be getting more Dan/Nate!

ME: I had to take calming breaths for this one because I got so upset I wanted to reach INTO my computer screen and strangle this nescient fool. Can I just start by saying that CN is one of the most dysfunctional friendships I have ever seen? Let us keep the girl issues on the side. Let us contemplate the things, if ANY, that Chuck has done for Nate. Lets contemplate them over a drink at Victrola. Oh you know what? THERE WAS A POINT IN TIME WE COULDN'T GO TO VICTROLA BECAUSE CHUCK MOTHERFUCKING SOLD IT TO HELP NATE IN HIS FINANCIAL TROUBLES. *breathes* AND are we ignoring the entire Thanksgiving episode? Are we discounting that one also? How about the time Chuck bailed his ASS when Carter tried to con him? FUCK! I can't think straight. It's all just so... ugh. What are you people WATCHING? The selective channel?

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First and foremost, great job restoring the show to its former glory - the king and queen and back and looking beautiful together! Secondly, my question - are you gonna give us another hot Nate/Blair love scene? Those two are easily the most gorgeous pairing on television.

ME: I have a message to ALL MOTHERFUCKING NAIR SHIPPERS OUT THERE AND JOT THIS DOWN BECAUSE I'M ONLY GOING TO SAY IT ONCE. BEAUTY DOESN'T SELL A SHIP. SUBSTANCE SELLS A SHIP. WHICH IS WHY YOUR SHIP WILL FAIL. As gorgeous as Chace is the picture above says all I have to say about this poor boy. PEACE.

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You've struck gold with Chuck/Vanessa! Plus, it paves the way for the devastatingly romantic Nate/Blair - any chance we can keep these pairings? And Dan/Serena of course...

ME: Another prime example of shipping for convenience. This gold she's talking about must be California gold, eh? Now, can we have lesson is definitions? Devastatingly : threatening to devastate. Yes. Let it pave the way for that, thank you! Who knew you really wanted CB under all that Kool-Aid colored crappery?

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Please tell us that Chuck and Blair are DONE. I HATE Chuck Bass and the fact that he gets away with everything while the other character suffer when they are so much more deserving of happiness. Dan/Serena and Nate/Blair FTW!

ME: Now, let us have a lesson in life from Gandalf himself. "Many that live deserve death. Some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them, Frodo? Do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment." It takes the most foolish of persons to state the deservedness of others. How about we keep THAT FTW?

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OK, that thing that happend between C and V was not JUST sex. It was so much more. It's like a start of something totally fucked up! You remember when Chuck said to Nate "She needed someone and I was there" well, I guess this little it-means-nothing could be it-means-alot. The same happened with Chair, and now Vuck. My GOD MAKE THIS AMAZING END! GG is so much fun. I want more CV scenes.BTW Chuck should take a new haircut and Nate and Blair should be endgame!NB are adorable and beautiful together ^^

ME: Even ANOTHER example of shipping for convenience. Because CB rains on her NB parade she must do a sharp left and praise CV like it was CB in order for NB to be the new CB in the writer's eyes and the danger of CB can be eliminated as fast as NV was from the show. You still with me, playah?

Fuck. I feel like I'm high. Who's got the Doritos?

you talking to ME?

You're SUCH a bitch. You KNOW I wanted to do the Pulp Fiction post. Eh. Hater ;) Fine. Fine. I'll call me a Taxi.

And now ladies and gentlemen, I will do what you've been waiting for ALL day. Let's WANK THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS!

As Cowgirl stated before, Korbi opened a can of worms and we're back in the game to WANK the stupidity this fandom has produced. Let us begin!

Sorry guys, but there were sparks flying all over the place when Nate & Blair kissed...it was just Awesome watching them together...I am a CHAIR fan, but am totally LOVING the turn of events with NAIR... Blairs right, it feels right, for the moment. And Nate only has Chemistry with Blair, everyone else pails in comparison...I guess thats why they're together.

ME: NO YOU'RE FUCKING NOT! Let me get this thing straight once in for all. OK? And I'll say it calmly so that you will be able understand it with the most certain clarity. YOU CANNOT, CANNNOT, CANNOT, CANNONT - FUCKING CANNNOT WANT YOUR BLAIR WITH NATE. I can list reasons this relationship is so fucked up and doomed, i can written a fucking dissertation on it. So. At the end of the day I will ask you one question. Just one. What about Chair made them so very special that it made you their fan? The reason I ask this is because after evaluating many of these canned responses to the episode I have come to a few conclusions.

One - human beings as a whole are generally flighty stupid things that lack a center, lack knowledge of what they want and how to obtain what they want. Second - that many of these people posting as 'multi-shippers' are really NB'ers or a group of them that start out their posts like this in order to make it seem like they have a CLEAR view of the happenings. Like YOU SHOULD ALSO GET NB. If you're under the influence of the Kool-Aid you may agree with this, but as my body has still not been snatched and my thoughts are together, organized and certain I can assure you that I am neither moved nor impressed by your testament of 'chemical reaction'.

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I honestly don't see why everyone is sooooo against chuck and vanessa. dont get me wrong i am a devoted chair fan but the little spark between vanessa and chuck is hot to me. vanessa is this chick that is all about her morals and being a good person and not letting anyone manipulate her into being someone she's not, and here comes chuck who is the number one manipulator and they have a bit of a spark.

ME: I have stated this before. I'm getting tired of saying it but apparently some people only learn by repetition of a particular statement. The REASON that people are SOOOOOO against Chuck/Vanessa is because it came from that place we like to call left fucking field. No development. No consistency with the characters, their motivations and the paths previously written out for them. Which makes me think that it was thrown in at the last minute when five additional episodes were ordered. THAT is the reason and if you cannot understand that then you dont understand good story telling which means this entire post has been in vain. Motherfucking sad.

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I believe Nate and Blair have always belonged together. They just needed time apart to "find" himself and make herself less dependent on a guy. Although Chuck and Blair may have been an excitment to all, Chuck was really just a rebound. Come on, after YEARS of dating, would you really think Blair and Nate would just let go like that? I think not. Besides, Blair and Nate's futures are very alike. They have the same family goals and traditions. It's FATE between the two!

ME: HEH. I need to quote CHICAGO here and debunk the entire statement in one lovely swoop.

I loved Alvin Lipschitz
more than I can possibly say.
He was a real artistic guy...
sensitive... a painter.
But he was troubled.
He was always trying
to find himself.
He'd go out every night
looking for himself
and on the way
he found Ruth,
Gladys,
Rosemary and Irving.

Yeah. Nate fucking found himself. He was finding himself also in the books, in case we're comparing the show once more to it. Yeah - he even ended the books trying to find himself. You see, the problem with men who are always trying to find themselves is that they'll never really find you. That's all the advice I can give you. And if that's Fate then I'd like to say at this moment that Blair's pretty fucked, isn't she?

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CV are hot, chuck should forget Blair for good...btw i think blair and nate look cute together so i'm rooting for them! After all they are KING N and QUEEN B! But the most important thing: GIVE US MORE CV INTENSE SCENE!!!!

ME: (you can't see me now but I'm annoyed and my brow is raised) I think my favorite part is that she's rooting for them because they're cute. I'm not going to even address CV because she's another little fucker who likes them because it makes her NB work out. SECOND. OH MY GOD. Nate is the KING of the lost and the unfortunate, of the people lacking facial expressions and acting abilities (sorry, Chace - we think you're OK), of characters used for the purpose of others, of 4 minute relationships (and we mean ALL of them) - that's what he's the King of. And when the Queen snaps out of this and becomes the bitch she LOVES to be that puppet king will run for the fucking hills. ALL HAIL THE PUPPET KING! How's THAT motherfucking Kool-Aid?

the ATTACK of the 4 minute SHIPS!

The phenomenon continues as people on the Kool-Aid continue to post their crazy, rambling thoughts that have swept the fandom and the rest of us continue to be baffled by both the reasoning behind it and their true belief in some of this mad shit. It's actually rather incredible that one can find something to point out - out of every single FUCKERY that is posted. I'm nearly proud of myself.

welll i respectfully disagree with everything thats been said. while i agree the build up this time was short, i think five years of a history trumps that. and i also think ~ has genuine feelings for V, they were so good together. best CHUCK PAIRING EVER."

ME: Wellllllll..... if that's the type of build up you would like in your ship, like I've said everyone has their favorite sinking ship likes. It's quite alright. Me, like most well training viewers, would like something with a bit more substance. Not to get Biblical on you but ever heard the tale of the house built on the sand? Yeah. It crumbled. Nice story. I also love that Chuck apparently has GENUINE feelings towards Roach-lady and it's the BEST Chuck pairing EVER. Like ever. Like in the history of Chuck and his wandering penis it's THE BEST. EVER. Give me a break losers, I dont know if you like CV because of it or because it takes BOTH Chuck and Vanessa away from your 4-Minute Nair. It's a fucking toss-up. Put the the juice cup DOWN, mofo's!


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lol dan would be horrified. yeah honestly think CV could happen, they have tonnes of chemistry and i do think C cares about her even if he'd never say so.

ME: Thought he would never admit it - I think that's my favorite part because it's making her statement win no matter what. He'll never say it. They'll never show it. But he does. It's there. The way imaginary things are. Yup. Just like that. If you pause your screen at 3:56 you'll see it.

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Nair is the best. It ALWAYS will be, despite who Blair ends up with in the series. Nate is the better man in this situation. He is so sweet to her, cares about her, want to makes everything right and work out. How cute is it that he wanted their first kiss together to be special, at her favorite spot. He didn't just want Blair for sex. He genuinely wanted to be there for her. Chair may have "fireworks" but really that doesn't mean they should be together. You can't build a lifelong relationship on just having some hot chemistry. There is a lot more to love than that. Like Blair said I think Chuck is something she "just needed to get out of her system" and now she can embrace her destiny, Nate. In a perfect world that would happen.

Secondly, Chair fans don't come on here and bash us or type Chair repeatedly. We don't do it to you. You make yourself look like a fool. It's a waste of everyone's time-especially yours. Considering as most GG fans are immature teenage girls though I guess it should be expected. No disrespect to Chair fans it's just very insulting and incredibly rude. Lastly, you probably shouldn't tell anyone who to ship or to not 'jump ship'. It's THEIR choice. It's a TELEVISION SHOW it will not be the end of the world if one Chair fan wants to switch over. As difficult as this may be for me to say (haha) there is more to life than Gossip Girl. You will survive!

ME: I like that she clarifies that she knows who Blair will end up in the series - there's a touch of realism to her mad Kool-Aid rambling. I like that. There still might be hope for her... or not. Nate. Oh man. I'm SO tired of trying to make you people see what a DOUCHE BAG Natalie Archibald is being but you all dont want to see it. You see, the magic between Chuck and Natalie is that Chuck knows he's an ASSHOLE, he never claims otherwise. Nate actually does try to pull out the I'm a Good guy routing and thus has left in his wake a trail of girls with their hearts broken. BIG difference.

I also love that Chuck has only wanted Blair for sex. Like that time he STOPPED them from having sex because he wanted love, or the time he decided for them NOT to be together because he was afraid he would mess it up OR the time he asked them to take it slow. FUCK! Can we STOP the sex talk! Damn! ;) I CANT TAKE ALL THE SEX THAT CHAIR ARE HAVING ALL THE FUCKING TIME - IT'S LIKE PORN UP IN HERE! Now, the part I LOVE is the time for Blair to EMBRACE her DESTINY has come. IDK about you but that sounds a bit Harry Potter to me, I dont know but I feel like these words have been uttered by some elderly man with a white beard. It must be Harry or LOTRs. BUT - she DOES have enough sense to admit that only in a perfect world that would happen.

Now...I'm kinda upset. I have not heard of this 'perfect world' and no one has invited me to it. I WANT IN, DAMMIT! Anyone know her email? I would like a one-way ticket, thanks! Oh and yeah. We're rude. FUCKING LIVE WITH IT. We're attracted to bitchy and RUDE characters (you DO know that Blair's a bitch, dont you?) hence we're most likely like that. And ONCE more I am a teen girl. I'm kinda feeling young here, man! This is AWESOME! I do like that she gets all preachy at the end, and I do have one piece of advise for her. Your last line? Keep it for yourself. You'll need it more than me. And hey! If YOU want to 'jump your ship' (which I dont blame you because it's going to drown REALLY quickly) let me know. We'll take you in. Show a real good time.

PEACE!