shut up and LISTEN

I have been beaming at all the Vanessa jokes cracked by the media so I have decided to collect them - with some help from some of you because Vanessa jokes along with Nate jokes are the BEST. EVER!

Pre-graduation, Videotaping Vanessa walks up to Nepotism Nate (who's chatting up his gramps), and they catch up in a friendly way--he's starting his internship soon, his grandfather and mother are on speaking terms again, he and Blair broke up, and he apologizes for how horribly he handled things with V. Since nothing is ever new with Vanessa and Nate really was a douche recently, she thanks him for all that stuff forever ago that guided her toward NYU, and Nate then invites V and D to his post-graduation party.
BUDDY TV!!!!

---

Of course, Nate went straight back to Vanessa after Blair dumping him. Some men just need a woman, and Man Bangs is one of them. Remember when he was sleeping in a sleeping bag in his basement? Mmm-hmm. Plus 2.

And of course, Vanessa would take him back, because, please: Brooklyn girl's facing down an army of Aaron Roses out there. Naturally she's going to want to rise through the golden wave of those bangs to another, better place. Plus 1.
Intel

---

Vanessa and Nate are going backpacking through Europe, after all! Wow, this show is really determined to keep Vanessa around. (:D)Not only is she going to NYU, too – does slinging coffee pay well enough to afford that kind of tuition? – but now she’s Nate’s vacation buddy again. With benefits, we assume. Could the show have found a lamer way to get Nate out of his internship at the mayor’s office? The deputy mayor hit on him so he quit? Good grief. A sloppy way to reunite him and Vanessa, and a sloppy way for him to prove that he’s not a man-whore, dammit!
LoHud

---

Oh, and Nate finally joins Vanessa on that goddamn trip around the world just to shut her up. Do we know where Vanessa's going to college? Do we care? And when is her batshit sister showing up?
Jacob whom we are still mad at, you sympathist

---

The Real Round table:

Vanessa going to NYU came out of nowhere, though I guess they had to keep her around somehow.

Vanessa: She who magically appears without explanation.

Nate: Spend less time man whoring and more time working on facial expressions.

Season 3: Vanessa will perfect her iced mocha latte technique. Vanessa will never return from her camping trip (hey, we can all dream).

---

And... um... Vanessa...? Wait. Why do you keep showing up to random places that you don't belong? Why are you here?

Why is Vanessa ever anywhere? (LIKE IN FUCKING DOVE COMMERCIALS??)
Gawker <3

---

What about Nate--now that he and Blair broke up, what is keeping him from holing up at Columbia and never reemerging? Oh yeah, Vanessa. If she counts as a reason (survey says no).
Aftergasm - Buddy TV

---

You see? I didn't even have to say a word. Just copy/paste. :D

surfing USA

"Oh what a wank.
Late in April back in 2009.
What a very special time for me
as I remember what a wank."

Nate is being a good boyfriend, I really cannot wrap my head around why everyone thinks he is being selfish and controling just because he doesn't want his gf to hang around his player of a bff who has a history with her. I think it's sweet, and I'd be really flattered. But I like the jealous bf type. Haha.

ME: Dont worry. I've called a help hotline for her. It's for the best.

----

Hmm... Only Chace has actually been in movies that have gone to the theatre and is in the process of filming more with other credible actors. But obviously he can't act if people are hiring him. Ed just gets better SL with Chuck. Plus, he gets way more screen time on top of it. You can't knock on Chace's acting skills solely based on GG. They make Blake look bad at times too and the Weinstein Brothers just took her under their wing for new movie projects! GG is not something to base someones acting abilities, it's just a guilty pleasure of entertainment. It's NEVER going to win any Emmy's."

ME: Chuck's character started out as a would-be-rapist, low moralist and overall cynical asshole and Ed made it a lovable character. Blair started out as a self-centered bitch, grudge holding, conniving girl-evil and Leighton turned her into a heroine. Nate is still confused, unsure and bouncing. Chace was given the golden character, he could've made him something wonderful but he didn't. That's that.

Now, I want to formally announce that tomorrow, here, after the recap there will be an official PARTY. Yes, people. We will be celebrating. There will be music, dance, drinks and a free-for-all-posting. Bring yourself, your friends, your dog and you gummi bears because it's going to be CRAZY! I think we fucking deserve it, dont you think? PARTY LIKE IT'S 2009!

you know your boy's lost it when he goes all COMMODUS on you

I continue being elated at Nate's psycho side. I mean. It's awesome! Can you imagine if they had the balls to go through with this? I read a fic the other day where Nate rapes Blair and I was a little sketchy with it because I was like 'Nate wouldn't'. I am woman enough to admit that I have been proven wrong. Props to the author for being able to predict this behavior because Psycho!Nate! is kinda weirdly awesome, I'm not going to lie. And if they really do turn Nate gay (I HOPE!) I'm totally shipping Nate/Jack. Because they're so alike it's not funny. Psychos freak together.

However, on the flip side here are some people WHO STILL DONT FUCKING GET IT! Dude, am I the one who has to put the fear of Nate in you? Damn. What a job. Not like I mind :D

While I don't always agree with nate's actions, the fact that he is this jealous screams to me that his ily was real. But, that means nothing to cb fans. Cause Blair didn't believe it was earnest. But, I do feel that he genuinely loves her but has treated her badly. I think this whole season for nate has been about fighting the fact that he is in love with her but he treated her like crap when he had her. So, he's desperately clinging to her hoping that she'll feel the same. While I love NB, I am not sure how B feels.

ME: Did you SEE psycho!nate?? I mean - the eyes, the look of madness! I mean... this whole season has just led to a Nate breakdown. He doesn't CARE that she didn't say it because HELL, he even KNOWS she doesn't love him back. He knows she loves Chuck, this is why he's acting all crazy and shit. I dont know in what universe, you as an adult, can condone that. I understand if you dont want to condone Chair but just because you dont condone Chair doesn't mean you have to condone Nair. That relationship just took a trip down to Disfunctionalville.

-----------
you chair ppl are nuts, relationships are supposed to open your eyes to new things, the subway is the fastest way to get around, Nate's being practical about the whole thing & planning for a future. Blate is so much better than Chair, with Chuck it's a torrid affair, that the writers had the good sense to write out. Nate gets her, he asked Dorota about the pond becuz there are things Blair shows nobody but Dorota! Nate brings out the best in her, and chuck the worst

ME: Nate knows what Blair wants. Not what Blair is. Let us get that fact straight. The reason he knows what she wants is because she talked non-stop about it. He's using the knowledge he has of it to manipulate the situation. To create the perfect fairytale for her but he's using it as a tool of wielding her emotions. This is NOT fucking sweet, this is just fucking creepy. Nate doesn't bring out the best in her, did you not see the final clip? She's fucking unhappy, she's trapped. She's Anne 2.0!! ROBOBLAIR!

-----------

"NAIR NAIR NAIR NAIR!! Nate and Blair are hot and perfect together! They are the only reason I watch this show..."

ME: You see, people like the one above is why I fear and question the decisions the writers are taking. Because children like the one above will never really get the complexity of the relationships at play here. And for fuck's sake - someone get her a pom-pon and a football player!

-----------

God Chuck is so effing annoying.. its like leave B alone.. clearly Nate loves her, he loved her first. No wonder he's so angry.. Chuck is so inconsiderate!

ME: Yes. They're apparently watching the same show as us. I just love that because Nate loved her FIRST. She's HIS. Like she BELONGS to Nate. It's very sad that people actually believe this, makes me feel very very frightened for what they'll put up from a man in their relationships.

----------

(our friend Psycho!Attention-Seeker formerly known as NB Powder Ranger)

I hate to go all Jackie Chan on you guys...but I think I have no choice. Blair needs to be controlled by Nate. It's for her own good.

ME: ..... you see why we had to rename her? It's for her own good.

That's the preliminary batch. I want to see more fools defend this behavior because it's appalling that they would.

did you get that MEMO?

I'm about to ATTEMPT to explain the current Character Demolition that the writers are pulling on Nathaniel Archibald. Mind you, this is an attempt. Because I think pro-Nate and anti-Naters are all wondering what the hell is going on around here. And if you're not, then you're a douche, just like him.

Let us be honest. Up until this point in Nathaniel's character life he's really not be truly worthy of our time, has he? NS'ers lost their hope for them for some time, NB'ers - well no one really listens to you all, and CB'ers dismissed him because he's clueless and idiotic. So almost everyone was ok with him being in the background either getting busy with Jenny or getting contaminated with Hobo-girl. For the most part I believe this to be the lack of acting ability that comes from Chace, regardless of how adorable he is. He's just that. Pretty.

So why, I ask myself, after episodes of standing in the background like a prop or (like Buddy TV called him) a mop is he suddenly center stage and part of one of the biggest WTF character moments I have ever seen in my life. Let us analyze this, shall we?

No one cared about what happened to Nate until 2.20 when the fandom kinda EXPLODED. Right? I mean, it was Hiroshima up in here, wasn't it? Granted, we dont help either but you know we love the fucking chaos. The Kool-Aid colored chaos is the BEST!

So. Nate. The Nate-Hate, which unlike the V-hate which is more unanimous from the beginning or sometime ago the Nate-hate came suddenly. Like a fucking wave or something. Those that kinda liked him because of Chuck now kinda fucking hate him BECAUSE of Chuck, those that tolerated him now want his balls on a shish kabob and those that love him are now going like... wtf? WTF are they doing to Nate.

That's the big question, isn't? Today's episode will leave a lot wondering WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY DOING TO NATE?? Because really... who is holding the fucking hammer? It's a total and complete character demolition!! I mean, I tell you I haven't seen this in a minute or five. Out of the blue, out of the damn blue Nate went from being a clueless adorable romantic to being a possessive, insecure, manipulative, vindictive, bribing, un-trusting and all around certifiable douche bag. And a jerk. And though many of you have pointed out very eloquently that the signs were there they kinda exploded here, didn't they?

Oh man! I mean! Talk about character progression! I mean, he made enough progress in his 10 minutes that he had in this episode than he's done in the entire show! I mean, it's rather funny. For a moment you're left thinking... who is this guy who kinda looks like Nate but doesn't act like Nate?

I dont know what is crazier... that 3 episodes ago he was attached to hobo-chick like a leech on skin and 3 episodes later he's in LOVE! *laughs* I'm sorry. I can't take this seriously. I just can't. How am I supposed to take this seriously, seriously? I mean, it's taken Chuck an entire season to say I love you (yay, 2.25) and Nate blurts it out in 3 episodes? How is this good? This is not good, this is liver mixed into my morning berry shake. It's not right. Just not right. (yes, I'm talking to the few of you who are still in denial over NB. Wake the fuck up!)

He went from helping his best friend discover secrets about his father to... I dont know what the fuck that was. I dont know if to call it an obsession with Blair or an obsession with Chuck because at this point I have a feeling this is more about Chuck than it is about Blair.

So the question that I'm posing it WHY. Why the sudden character demolition? The answer is very simple. Nate was dying.

Yes, he was. No one gave a fuck about him and they had an extra five episodes to work with. So they added some hot sauce to the mixture and brought out all these character traits that none of us knew he possessed. Hell, I bet Chace didn't even know Nate possessed them. They just kept adding them in the creative room. And TBTB said 'let Nate be extremely insecure' and he was. And they saw that it was good. And they said 'Let Nate attempt to manipulate Blair' and he did. And they saw that it was good. And they said 'Let Nate start a mini-war with Chuck' and he did. And they saw that it was good.

So the even BIGGER question is that - what the fuck are you going to do now that you've created a clueless monster with inconsistent character traits? I have just one thing to say about that. They will DROP these traits the moment this passes over. Mark my words. He will go back and revert back to whatever he did before he became to controversial. Honestly, Nathaniel lovers are like the new Republicans. They're a joke but somehow they're still around.

the UNUSUAL suspect

Really, who was also freaked out by Psycho!Nate's look after he says ILY? I mean... wow. I present to you PSYCHO!NATE! Look at the eyes.... CREEPY!!

*look into my eyes, Blair and take off your coat*
*look into my eyes, Blair and love me*
*look into my eyes, Blair because they're pretty and psychotic*

ani credit: issa

He even scared Marcus. RUN, BLAIR, RUN!!

ani credit: mary

poll by twiigs.com

stupid people can be SO CUTE!

You all have been so FUCKING patient! You've waited for a while here, thinking there was no more wankings to be had but the truth is there's ALWAYS fucking wankings to be had! We LOVE WANKING THIS MOTHERFUCKING FANDOM!!!

God, I love them! You all ready? Because I may be on fire tonight and these are totally going down, bitches!

I think the pair are really sweet together. Ther act like a couple and do more normal things that teens would do. Blair and Chuck have tension, but together they seem around 30 years older than their actual age with Chuck constantly blowing hot and cold, drinking scotch, acting out strange cruel intention type games whereas Nate and Blair are sweet and romantic. Blair seems so much more innocent with him, discussing Brangelina and remembering their growing up days. I think Blair and Chuck have undeniable chemistry, but Blair and Nate are much sweeter and down to earth.

ME: Because ALL TV shows are based on sweet realistic relationships that make us tune in week after week as we wait on the edge of our motherfucking seats in order to find out what fucking restaurant they are going on their fucking seven-month anniversary! Yeah, it's a fucking page-turner! Now. I've seen you all over the web posting about the Brangelina mess. Really? LEAVE BRANGELINA ALONE. Just no. Find a new angle, baby girl. How about a new couple?

-----------------

Oh C'mon ppl!!! Penn & Leighton are HOT!!! I really love the idea of DAN & BLAIR hook up!! and if this thing happen, I'll consider to watching GG again. can't wait...

ME: WOW! A new strain in the Kool-Aid phenomenon. Apparently there's a new Orange Kool-Aid and it makes you think that in this universe or the next Blair and Dan hooking up is an AWESOME idea. Because Blair needs ANOTHER judgmental man in her life. She's fucking begging for it. On that note, she may wait a long ASS time. Like to infinity and beyond.

------------------

(OMG, our friend the NB Powder Ranger who will soon be renamed the NB Attention Seeker!)

I'm Nate/Blair till the end. Unless I decide Blair isn't good enough for Nate at some point. I guess this is possible. Nate is the shit after all. I already mentioned my plans in the unlikely event that things go badly for me. I will go into hiding until things blow over and then I will come back and act like every opinion I have ever had was correct. (Not really that much of a stretch.)

ME: Girly, I'm SO tired of wanking you it's not funny. You need to start giving us some fresh thoughts, because as much as you'd like to you can't be this discombobulated and still be interesting. You just can't. I suggest you drink some (of your Kool-Aid) go back to the creative room, mix somethings up and come back to the table with some fresh new ideas :D

--------------

For those of you who think that Chuck is not Emo why don't you go consult your GG Koolaid Bible, even they agree he has been OOC and duller than he was in Season 1. Chuck's Emo now, get over it. Maybe he won't be forever, but he sure as hell is now. Other characters on the show have been in "love" and they didn't go all freakishly Emo. The writers made him Emo, hopefully they make him snap out of it soon. And by the way Season 1 Chuck would annialate Season 2 Chuck. Anybody could see that... Also, Chuck apolgizing to Jenny was LAME. The reason we like Chuck is because he is an inexcusable asshole. That was why he found a fast following in Season 1. He is just plain better when he is a disgusting, perverted, malicious dick. I don't care if you guys think it was "human" of him. I don't want Chuck Bass to become a pussy and he is well on his way.

ME: OH BABY, you SHOULDN'T have. You just SHOULDN'T have because if you read me AT ALL you know I have a fucking mouth and you know I love to use it (wink). One. Kool-Aid is for you. Yes, YOU. YOU have a Kool-Aid bible. Ok? I am OFF the Kool-Aid. You see the distinction? I'm glad we got that straight. TWO. NO ONE. And I mean NO ONE puts Charles Bass in a fucking corner if this fandom has ANYTHING to do with it. Ok? You just let me know when and where and they'll be a rumble in the Bronx. Three, and listen carefully to this one. You are going to have to UNDERSTAND the meaning of an Anti-Hero. Bear with me, I know it's hard, the REASON Chuck is so popular is because he's an onion-boy. Your boy Nate and Dan are not. Hence Chuck, being HUMAN under layers of assholity will ALWAYS make him the one you're going to root for. We love BOTH the asshole side of him and the 'too in love with Blair to see straight' Chuck. We fucking love it. What we dont love is when he's got a hobo-tramp on him and when he forgets he ever knew Blair. Get it? THAT is inconsistent writing. THAT is what we're pissed about. Get it fucking straight. Fantastic! NEXT!

-----------------

Xmenfan246 (2 weeks ago)
Chair is just a jerk and has shown no signs of improvement. He's a manipulator, rapes Blair's friends Serena and Jenny, hooks up with random w omen, all the while claiming to love Blair. WHATEVER. At least Nate has shown signs of maturity this season. Blair and Chuck are just Cruel Intentions caricatures when they're together. Their relationship is not realisitc. Nate and Blair have more genuine moments together, and are a more realistic couple.
Xmenfan246 (1 week ago)
Nate's sins aren't as bad as Chuck.
wantedlilacs (1 week ago)
Chuck's father DIED!
ILuvBrucas4eva (4 hours ago)
his father's death doesn't excuse him for being an ass.

ME: She's obviously NEVER lost someone close to her. Hasn't seen what grief does to good and bad people.

And Nate's maturity is that of knat. Dont believe me? Check it out:

You see? I never kid about people's mental acuity.

oh, and chace crawford is a lesbian, we FUCKING LOVE YOU! Come here and give us a kiss, baby, we promise to keep you off the concentration camps! ;)

love the fucking CANADIANS

*TAKES NATHANIEL ARCHIBALD VOODOO DOLL AND STABS IT, BURNS IT, POKES IT AND GIVES IT A MOTHERFUCKING EDGE*

I feel better.

Anyways, there's like a Chair-explosion in the next episode isn't it? I need to stock up on hobocorn!

marry us, Buddy!!

We're been telling you for a while that we here at Kool-Aid fucking LOVE Buddy TV. They're sensible and great, they post anti-Nair and anti-Nate articles and I LOVE them for it. They MAKE SENSE. They have intelligent discussions and we're just addicted to them. They hit ANOTHER home run with this new article:

It has already been pointed out that Nate Archibald (Chace Crawford) seems to have undergone an amazing (and out-of-character) transformation in the last few episodes of Gossip Girl. For those who are out of the loop, recently, good old boring Nate broke up with Vanessa (Unidentifiable Female Szohr) to reunite with old flame Blair (Leighton Meester), much to the dismay of Bluck fans. The startling change was most evident in the last episode, when Nate caught Blair doing something underhanded, broke up with her, only to get back together a few minutes later, after a conversation with Chuck (Ed Westwick).

The news of the Blair and Nate reunion didn't sit well with Bluck fans, needless to say. And even those who aren't very passionate about the wickedly delicious tandem are quick to point out that Blair and Nate, since their first season pairing, are just not right for each other anymore. This is not mere conjecture; there have been many instances when the two have shown that the two are in different stages in their lives, that they're just so different flat.


Blair, for instance, despite pronouncements of turning over a new leaf, proved that she's incapable of doing so when she forged an evil deal with grandpa Archibald. She herself had no explanation. However, after just a few seconds of inadequate convincing from Chuck ("She didn't pick me," or something), Nate quickly got over it, and Blair got away scot-free - again. (Of course, Blair does deserve some credit, for at least trying to resist temptation.) What happened to judicious and sensible Nate?

(Where was Vanessa, by the way?)

While they were happy, the Vanessa and Nate tandem received a lot of flak for being boring and unexciting, but never for being out-of-character and irrational. It's more or less like Serena (Blake Lively) and Dan (Penn Badgley); not a lot of fans, but people let them because they deserve each other more or less, you understand the connection, you understand why they're together, and on some instances, they can even be cute.

I trust, however, that this Nate and Blair thing is but temporary, and the Gossip Girl universe will be back to normal anytime soon.

They have a poll for you to post what you believe. Now, I voted that Blair should be with Chuck but the answer of 'they're too different' was also tempting because I really dont like to make Nair to be just about Chair. It's about Blair as a person and how they will never make each other happy in the long run.

GO VOTE!

you can POKE it, STAB it, BURN it and HATE it

NEWSBREAK: THE HUNT FOR THE NATHANIEL ARCHIBALD DOLLS CONTINUES AS STORES SELL OUT AT ALARMING RATES! PEOPLE CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF THEM, CHILDREN WANT THEM, THEY'RE THE PERFECT STOCKING-STUFFER! THE CITY IS NEARLY COMPLETELY SOLD OUT AND MOST PEOPLE WILL HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL A NEW SHIPMENT ARRIVES NEXT WEEK. MORE DETAILS AT 11.

Honestly. I want a motherfucking NATE DOLL that I can stab and burn it as HE proceeds to tell MY Chuck to stay away from HIS Blair (and by HIS I mean Chuck). Motherfucker! Go poke someone else! God, I want there to be a fight between them! They need to fight it out in the mud :D like Big and Aidan did and that went AWESOMELY after it.

I honestly dont know WHY the writers are making Nate to be the very bad guy here, I dont fucking care. Maybe Chace asked for an edge. If he wants an edge I will make sure to shove my Nate Doll off one. I PROMISE.

too tired for title

Cowgirlbiatch: You cannot leave me. Like ever.
Valleygurl80: You need to calm down. I just got off a 3 hour plane flight.
Cowgirlbiatch: Focus. I need you.
Valleygurl80: read the recap
Cowgirlbiatch: me too
Valleygurl80: I have to go back and read what you wrote this weekend
Cowgirlbiatch: read later. Talk first
Valleygurl80: ugh. Family sucks, this is why I live away from them
Cowgirlbiatch: not focusing
Valleygurl80: fine. I think it’s like ok
Cowgirlbiatch: me too. Like blah kinda ok
Valleygurl80: aside from Blair running around like 1.0 Blair
Cowgirlbiatch: god, I can’t stand the butchering of her character
Valleygurl80: I just love that Nate ends up confused
Cowgirlbiatch: again
Valleygurl80: again
Cowgirlbiatch: that boy is a mess
Valleygurl80: total
Cowgirlbiatch: my poor Chuck. God, I’d fuck Ed right now
Valleygurl80: you’d fuck him anywhere
Cowgirlbiatch: ANYWHERE
Valleygurl80: me too. I’m not going to lie. I’d fuck chace too.
Cowgirlbiatch: I don’t know if I can do a guy that was confused as to why I’m bouncing on top of him
Valleygurl80: slap him once. It’ll do him good. I don’t know why he hasn’t gotten slapped.
Cowgirlbiatch: yeah. This is natefusing to me too
Valleygurl80: I mean, he’s been with EVERYONE
Cowgirlbiatch: and no slap
Valleygurl80: so anti-climatic
Cowgirlbiatch: I know
Valleygurl80: I’d slap him
Cowgirlbiatch: maybe that’s what he needs. A good slap to snap him out of it
Valleygurl80: I just hope hobobag isn’t the one to do it
Cowgirlbiatch: my poor chuck. Just saw the video. God, I’m depressed
Valleygurl80: this is sad. Nate is an idiot
Cowgirlbiatch: I can’t believe he even decided to go to chuck knowing all that has happened between Chair
Valleygurl80: he’s a douche
Cowgirlbiatch: I want the promo for next week
Valleygurl80: dude…. There’s people that actually think this episode was good for Nair
Cowgirlbiatch: are we surprised?
Valleygurl80: no but still… one likes to not give up on humanity
Cowgirlbiatch: humans are stupid
Valleygurl80: they come with batteries
Cowgirlbiatch: LMAO
Valleygurl80: like Blair
Cowgirlbiatch: so are u watching
Valleygurl80: ehhh
Cowgirlbiatch: yeah. Ehhh. I think I’ll watch like after it airs and I can fast forward
Valleygurl80: what do we think of jenny?
Cowgirlbiatch: I actually like jenny. Taylor can act and they have cinched the ‘Chuck is a rapist’ storyline. It’s finally been addressed.
Valleygurl80: yes. I agree. You know I would’ve liked NJ had they not fucked it up to begin with
Cowgirlbiatch: I could see that. I still prefer NS
Valleygurl80: I still prefer Nate as gay
Cowgirlbiatch: I think we will AT LEAST see him experiment
Valleygurl80: can you imagine a Serena/Nate/Dan/Eric quadrangle?
Cowgirlbiatch: where’s Vanessa in all this?
Valleygurl80: she’s been killed already, remember the plan
Cowgirlbiatch: oh yeah!
Valleygurl80: I sense the show getting better already, do you feel that?
Cowgirlbiatch: ehhh. We got an AWESOME hate mail while u were gone
Valleygurl80: OMFG, TELL!!
Cowgirlbiatch: Ready? Ok. “SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID BITCHES!! PEOPLE THAT READ UR BLOG IS STUPID LIKE YOU AND YOU WILL DIE ALONE IN A SMALL BED!!! FUCK YOU!”
Valleygurl80: At least we don’t get run over by a truck or something
Cowgirlbiatch: yeah, she like wished us a peaceful death
Valleygurl80: I kinda like her.
Cowgirlbiatch: me too, makes u want to cuddle her
Valleygurl80: I’m tired, girl
Cowgirlbiatch: ok. Fine. Just don’t leave me alone. Like ever.
Valleygurl80: fine.
Cowgirlbiatch: ok.
Valleygurl80: u posting the hoboslut post?
Cowgirlbiatch: yeah.
Valleygurl80: and this one?
Cowgirlbiatch: fine. I will
Valleygurl80: love ya, bitch
Cowgirlbiatch: :P

not to be CONFUSED by anything else

I was thinking over this while texting to Inca and we came to conclusion that we have been VERY unfair to Nathaniel Archibald as of late. We use to enjoy staring at his ripped arms as long as he didn't talk and stayed in the background like a prop or something. In listening to the mad ramblings of the Nairers that continue using the supporting argument of Nate is so pretty as their basis for their ship I decided to go out into the world and collect the different confused faces of Nathaniel Archibald because perhaps in seeing his thespianic talent we would be able to deduce the Nate-effect. See what is that je ne sais quoi, you know?

So here we go. I present to you:

THE CONFUSED FACES OF NATHANIEL ARCHIBALD
(in no particular order)


THE CONFUSED SIGH


THE WISE CONFUSION


THE WTF CONFUSION


THE PHONE CONFUSION


THE COMPLETELY CONFUSED


THE SMOLDERING CONFUSION


THE PENSIVE CONFUSION


THE MORALLY CONFUSED


THE UTTERLY CONFUSED


THE OPEN-MOUTHED CONFUSION


THE WOMEN CONFUSED


CONFUSED BY CANDLELIGHT


CONFUSED IN THE PLOT


THE WORD-LESS CONFUSION


THE CHUCKED CONFUSION


CONFUSED ON THE GRASS


FACEPALM CONFUSION


CONFUSED IN THE DARK


SHIRTLESS CONFUSION


THE NON-BROTHERLY-FEELINGS CONFUSED


THE KISSED-CONFUSION


THE FORMAL CONFUSION


THE CONCERNED CONFUSION


and now my very absolute favorite one EVER

THE SEXUALLY CONFUSED

Yeah. We're no longer confused. He's confused enough for all of us. Is he ever NOT confused? We could've had like 300 caps here because he's ALWAYS vucking confused!

make CONFUCIUS proud

NATEFUSED; The act of being thoroughly confused about life, love, your purpose in life and the angle your character continues to take. Said side effects may include realizing an ex is alive and attractive, completely forgetting the last 6 months of your life with your girlfriend, being surprised your best friend cares for a girl though it's been explained to you before, finding yourself stuck between two girls and having NO idea how you got there, not understand why a big brother is pissed at you sucking face with his little sister, why you're always underdressed, why your house is without furnishings, why an older married woman is keeping you a secret, why said older woman is giving you money, why you suck and when exactly did you become a douche bag.

Worry not, those suffering from Natefusion, in case your life goes up in flames you can always get natefused about how you're suddenly hooking up with your ex girlfriend's best friend in 4 episodes FLAT.

BITCHES have more fun!

No, we didn't do it - it was sent in but you've got to fucking love it, no? I mean! *laugh* I just fucking love it. Nair in a box, like contrived shit.

Ok. Let us get to the matter at hand. It's WANKING THE FANDOM time! God, I love this time of day! So the new essays posted at E! Got us new material because we were getting tired of wanking the NB Powder Ranger.

Talk about biased essay picks. How old are you Kristin? 36? 40? Middle aged woman who is obsessed with Chuck Bass? I mean, i know Chuck fan girls are delusional, and their obsession scares me to the point of no return, but I always assume these are brainless tweens who love to follow the crowd becaus oh wow... "Chuck is mysterious, Chuck is sexy, he's the best character on the show and nothing he does is ever wrong" but day in and day out i read your biased spoilers, and your Chuck Bass obsession manages to give me a good laugh lol talk about pathetic. But yeah, go Chuck*rolls eyes*... I'm **** sure there were essays with much more substance in favor of NB, but go ahead and do as you please with this. Oh and next time you post spoilers please try to keep your biased comments to yourself. Just do your job and give us spoilers. No one cares who you ship.

ME: Now, is it just me of does this person have unresolved hate issues towards Kristin? I mean, she seriously AIRED her motherfucking laundry, didn't she? Name calling, derogatory comments? If she wasn't mixing in the Kool-Aid with her cereal we might fucking like her.

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The Nate-Blair manifestos looked like they had been copied and pasted from message boards or comments sections of recaps which rendered the 'debate' slightly one-sided. I used to be a Chuck-Blair fan, but the last few episodes have built up the Nate-Blair relationship nicely and whilst Chuck and Blair do seem to share some kind of physical attraction, the Blair that we see with Nate is less scheming and more sweet and childlike. With Chuck, the pair act like they are already 30 years old with the weight of the world on their shoulders, playing out twisted cruel intentions like games, and with Nate she endearingly discusses pop culture (Brad-Angelina), and reminises about growing up. Although it is not angst filled it is certainly sweet and endearing, and seems like a more healthy and lasting relationship. As Chuck himself said they both like the thrill of the chase, whereas with Nate they genuinly seem to enjoy each others company doing everyday things that teens their age would do.

ME: ANOTHER motherfucking liar! I love these! Let us access why she's a fucking liar. One. You would KNOW that Nair has gotten NO TYPE OF BUILD-UP. An episode DOES NOT MAKE A BUILD-UP. Two. Sweet, endearing does not make a lasting relationship and reverting to a childlike persona actually show signs of regression NOT progression. Get with the motherfucking program. And they're 18 in a few months Blair will be 19 and a year short of no longer being a teen. Finishing High School should be about growing up. Maturing. Not recidivating.

---------

"TEH I HATE CHAIR CLUB!"
BTW I don't know where all this "Nate Hate" comes from. He is just being a regular 18 year old guy. Nate's nice,handsome,funny,strongc(: , he always tries to do the right thing, because he don't want to hurt anyone intentionally. He's a perfect gentleman (as Blair said) plus he is rich and famous. He's a perfect date for every girls :) GO NAIR!

ME: They're organizing now! I love it! Like little hamsters all bringing their pebbles together. I love that one of the reasons that Nate = AWESOME is because he's STRONG. And funny! I mean, his sense of humor CRACKS ME UP! I can't stop laughing when he's on screen. It must be the way Chace works in confusion into his character. AND he's RICH and FAMOUS and he's the perfect DATE. I can't kick this one anymore, it's too sad and pathetic.

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Nate and Blair are an epic love story. (Probably the best on television since Buffy X Spike.) We should all sit back and enjoy the journey. XD

ME: I HAD to do this one because you can mess with a lot of stuff but you CANT mess with Spuffy. Spuffy is motherfucking sacred. I know Cowgirl you're a Bangel-sympathizer and I still love you but really... SPUFFY? YOU'RE COMPARING NAIR TO SPUFFY??? I can't take it. I just can't. Did they even WATCH Buffy? Spuffy has one of the darkest complex storylines ever made and you're comparing it to NAIR?? Jesus, give her or ME meds because I can't handle it. The Kool-Aid is STILL alive and well.

you gotta ask me NICELY

Today we're honoring an EPIC battle between Kool-Aiders and human beings. It was documented and sent to us so we wanted to show the world the types of battles you can potentially face by NOT drinking of the Kool-Aid! Here it goes!

Nair slut #1(heh): But Chuck has been treating Blair so badly. I dont know how people still want Chuck with Blair when he obviously hasnt proved hes mature enough to be in a reltionship with her.

Chair-defender #1: As a Chair fan I feel the need to say something. And please take note that it's not my intention to offend anyone. I know that most of you Nair shippers, are fans of the books and that the books are the reasons you want Nair to happen so badly. The show is nothing like the books, in case you haven't noticed yet. I will admit that Chuck treated Blair badly and he has to really work for her to forgive him. But nothing Chuck has ever done to Blair will ever be as bad as what Nate did to her. Let me summarize it for you. Chuck has never slept with her best friend, nor has he pursued that person and in the process lied to Blair numerous times. Chuck may not have said "I love you" to Blair but he proved he loves her, unlike Nate who has said "I love you" to Blair but then admitted he didn't love her. Chuck has never used Blair for his own family benefit and he has never taken her for granted. And the list could go on but I'm bored so I'll not continue. But the conclusion is that Chuck and Blair are epic, while Nate and Blair are just a phase and a past mistake. We forgive you B, we know you and Chuck are meant to be.

Chair-defender 2: AMEN! preach it girl

Chair-Defender #1: And I almost forgot. Nate is a hypocrite too. When he cheats on Blair with Serena he asks for a second chance and he thinks he is entitled to one but when he found out Blair slept with Chuck, he act like she's trash. At least they were broken up when she did it. Leave B alone, Archibald! You don't deserve her, never have, never will.

Nair slut #2: Let me just say that I know plenty of people who like nate/blair together, and havent read the books at all. And I complety disagree with you. Yes they both hurt her but to say that Nate hurt her more is ridiculous. Chuck ended up hurting her the most because she actually loved him and she thought he loved her. Afterall she lost her virginity to him, that kind of attachment to a person is so strong. Im just going to name a few things chuck did that was horriable, believe me the list can go on. Chuck cheated on Blair plenty of times when they were in a reltionship, he compared her to his dads horse, and ruined her reltionship with nate when he saw how happy she was with him. And lastly when he ditched dinner with Blair for some hookers with Jack. Blair was so good to Chuck after his fathers death, and was there for him when he was at his worst. So when he finally become clear headed (sober) after his fathers death, he got a chance to make a reltionship work with Blair and thank her for her help. But what does he do instead? Goes and sleeps with hookers. How do you think Blair felt when she saw Chuck with the hookers, after the way she was there for him, he goes and says something about stop playing the wife. In my opinion that hurt Blair more than anything Nate has ever done. I did like Chair but Chuck is in no way ready to be in a reltionship and treated Blair badly, and just because you dont like nate/nair you have to realize others like them

Chair-Defender #1: I'll get right to the point.
1. Chuck cheated on Blair only ONE time (before they were going to Europe) and they weren't even a real couple on the show.
2. He compared her to a horse because she hurt him. She deserved that.
3. He tried to ruin her relationship with Nate because he knew Nate didn't loved her. (remember that Chuck and Nate are bffs and Chuck knows everything about Nate)
3. Bart was Chuck's family. After his death, he was lost and then he thought his uncle was there for him, ready to be the family he had lost. He ditched Blair to spend time with his uncle, not for those women.
I'm not trying to insult other ppl's opinions, I posted that because someone said Chuck hurt her more than Nate. And that's crap. My friend asked you Nair shippers why do you want them as a couple. Please explain it to us, we are curious. We can give you exactly 260 reasons why Chuck and Blair are epic. If I have the approval of my friends, I will post them for you. Tell me how many reasons you can come up with for Nair?

Let me say something here, I have interject. It's not that I dont respect other people's opinion. It's that mine is right and above others. It's really just that simple as that. I, like Chuck, am not claiming to be a saint and much less a civil saint. If you can't see that you're being USED, ABUSED and posed as BAIT then you DESERVE (no, scratch that, you're BEGGING) to be MOTHERFUCKING WANKED, my friend! Fucking deal with it!

Second, it's not that I do not believe that Chuck has never hurt Blair because he has. Plenty of times - that's the centralization of this relationship. And then let me clarify my final point - the REASON we are mad and by we I mean those of who actually understand the show and the central couple of this show is because there is no CHARACTER CONTINUITY. IF there was Chuck wouldn't have gone after the tranny-nanny, Blair and Chuck wouldn't have gone weeks without speaking and Serena would know what fucking team she's on! Nathaniel wouldn't be such a cunt-jumper, Lily would still be ATTEMPTING to mourn her husband and Vanessa would be dead. THAT is the bottled anger here, THIS is why people are rejecting Nair the way they were (and dont get me started on the fucking mess that CV is because I can be here all night and I want to watch Mad Men).

We can go BACK and FORTH all fucking night long on this pointless argument. At the end of the night we see what we want to see, we believe what we want to be believe and we say what we want to say. So here I see people who are in for A LOT of dissapointment when they realize their 'dream' couple is not as dreamy as they think it to be, I believe you will be just as pissed as we are now and I can say you'll be motherfucking screwed. PEACE, have fun with the Kool-Aid!

that's Ms. Natalie to you!

Gawker continues to be our very favorite site as they share our new pastime of bashing the Natalie all day long! YAY!! It's nice to have allies in times like this, plus they totally believe in the Chair and those that believe in the Chair are part of the Chairlean Alliance. How you like them apples?

A Day in the Life of Chuck Bass

once upon a time, bunch of people got HIGH

I can't help but compare the Nair relationship with the relationship of Fiona and Charming. I mean, he was perfect. Perfect teeth, hair, smile, charm - blah blah. And she wanted it all, she wanted the perfect life with the perfect prince that she had been dreaming of forever. THEN this nasty creature kinda rescued her. He had no morals, no scruples, was gross, was everything she didn't want. Yet he ended up being the one she chose. She had serious self esteem issues and they lied to one another. Until they realized that she didn't want to live in the fantasy and he didn't want to be alone and an ogre anymore. This is how I see NBC and this is how I believe the writers write them also. Note: I'm still not sure who exactly Vanessa is in this story, actually, I'm not sure who exactly Vanessa is in ANY story so at least there's consistency there.

And now that we understand this dynamic, let's WANK this MOTHERFUCKING FANDOM!!!

I like how Chair fans are slowly dying so you need this thread to reassure yourselves. You are losing soldiers. Haha it's like a Greek Tragicomedy.

ME: She DOES realize that a tragicomedy has a happy ending, right? I mean, esp since it's OUR story she's referring to she just gave us like encouragement.

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oohh good that was the cutest kiss scene i've ever seen on the show, finally a little sweet stuff . I really dont get wut everybodys sayin about blair beeing clingy for the first time ever she's actually sweet and kind and its time for blair to grow the fuck up and stop thinking that she'll get wut she wants by hurting others.

ME: *looks around* WUT? Did you get it? Did we get it?

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yes yes Nair all they way!Nate/Blair is so awesome. I love that they're back to being friends and the chemistry between them is fantastic. Blair deserves so much more than Chuck and Nate can be that for her. I don't mind C/V either, since Vanessa brought out the most human side of Chuck I've ever seen, though this seems a bit desperate and pathetic of them.


ME: Let address this one in two parts. The NB part and the CV part. This is another stupid fucker who forgets all that Nate did. ALL of it. He's like a clean slatted little fluffy angel. Prince motherfucking shinning, in his white horse, shiny teeth and tussled hair. See the picture above. It's explain TONS. Now, since she's at heart an NB'er this CV angle works very well for her, doesn't it? Especially since it was Vanessa who comforted Chuck when his father died, when he's shown to be MOST vulnerable. Oh wait. That was Blair. Fuck! I'm like ALSO watching the selective channel.

---------

"Oh and I would chose Nate because I don't want to repeatedly be treated like shit. Plus, he genuinely cares about her (at least this time around), he HAS become a better person, and well he is gorgeous! I don't hate Chair but I definitely don't ship them. Blair and Nate do not have the fireworks, but I feel like they have something better than that. Nate was adorable to her in the last episode, he didn't cheat on vanessa (even though I really thought he would) That just shows he has grown up in the last year. They have a friendship now, that lack of one is what really screwed them up last time. It's easy being together, it doesn't hurt. You shouldn't ache all the time because of the person you love. They should make you feel elated and happy, I think Nate and Blair can give that to each other. They did in the last episode. I just personally think they deserve a shot together. I think they could really make each other truly fulfilled and happy. Even if you don't ship them I mean c'mon! You have to admit they look like the perfect picture couple."


ME: We have to take this one in parts because the stupidity of it continues to baffle me. I LOVE that she admits that THIS time he doesn't threat her like crap. THIS time. heh. And well, he's GORGEOUS, what else do you need to ship someone? Is there really anything else? AND because she knows she hasn't convinced us AT ALL with her crappery she throws in that you can AT LEAST ADMIT that they LOOK the perfect couple. I mean. AT LEAST admit that. Because now that they LOOK like the perfect couple they can BE the perfect couple. A moment please as I laugh my fucking ASS OFF.

--------

"I would choose Nate bec he is way nicer, sweeter, more romantic and better looking than Chuck. Going by the question, which is if I were Blair, I wouldnt want to hurt anymore. Id realize that real love doesnt hurt."

ME: I THINK what she's trying to say in her little language here is that Blair should be with Nate because he's romantic and more better looking than Chuck, which of course is a clear side effect of the juice. I also dont think she has been notified that real love is complicated. She's going to spend her entire life confused.

--------

sum of these r to long for depth of content. sum part are pointless & writing
is vry blunt. eps probly wudnt b ne better if like this.


ME: This one was sent in - it's a review on a CB fic. The reason I am posting it is because I was wondering if any of you have a English to gibberish dictionary that you can provide for us in order for us to translate it. Thank you for your cooperation!

you talking to ME?

You're SUCH a bitch. You KNOW I wanted to do the Pulp Fiction post. Eh. Hater ;) Fine. Fine. I'll call me a Taxi.

And now ladies and gentlemen, I will do what you've been waiting for ALL day. Let's WANK THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS!

As Cowgirl stated before, Korbi opened a can of worms and we're back in the game to WANK the stupidity this fandom has produced. Let us begin!

Sorry guys, but there were sparks flying all over the place when Nate & Blair kissed...it was just Awesome watching them together...I am a CHAIR fan, but am totally LOVING the turn of events with NAIR... Blairs right, it feels right, for the moment. And Nate only has Chemistry with Blair, everyone else pails in comparison...I guess thats why they're together.

ME: NO YOU'RE FUCKING NOT! Let me get this thing straight once in for all. OK? And I'll say it calmly so that you will be able understand it with the most certain clarity. YOU CANNOT, CANNNOT, CANNOT, CANNONT - FUCKING CANNNOT WANT YOUR BLAIR WITH NATE. I can list reasons this relationship is so fucked up and doomed, i can written a fucking dissertation on it. So. At the end of the day I will ask you one question. Just one. What about Chair made them so very special that it made you their fan? The reason I ask this is because after evaluating many of these canned responses to the episode I have come to a few conclusions.

One - human beings as a whole are generally flighty stupid things that lack a center, lack knowledge of what they want and how to obtain what they want. Second - that many of these people posting as 'multi-shippers' are really NB'ers or a group of them that start out their posts like this in order to make it seem like they have a CLEAR view of the happenings. Like YOU SHOULD ALSO GET NB. If you're under the influence of the Kool-Aid you may agree with this, but as my body has still not been snatched and my thoughts are together, organized and certain I can assure you that I am neither moved nor impressed by your testament of 'chemical reaction'.

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I honestly don't see why everyone is sooooo against chuck and vanessa. dont get me wrong i am a devoted chair fan but the little spark between vanessa and chuck is hot to me. vanessa is this chick that is all about her morals and being a good person and not letting anyone manipulate her into being someone she's not, and here comes chuck who is the number one manipulator and they have a bit of a spark.

ME: I have stated this before. I'm getting tired of saying it but apparently some people only learn by repetition of a particular statement. The REASON that people are SOOOOOO against Chuck/Vanessa is because it came from that place we like to call left fucking field. No development. No consistency with the characters, their motivations and the paths previously written out for them. Which makes me think that it was thrown in at the last minute when five additional episodes were ordered. THAT is the reason and if you cannot understand that then you dont understand good story telling which means this entire post has been in vain. Motherfucking sad.

----------

I believe Nate and Blair have always belonged together. They just needed time apart to "find" himself and make herself less dependent on a guy. Although Chuck and Blair may have been an excitment to all, Chuck was really just a rebound. Come on, after YEARS of dating, would you really think Blair and Nate would just let go like that? I think not. Besides, Blair and Nate's futures are very alike. They have the same family goals and traditions. It's FATE between the two!

ME: HEH. I need to quote CHICAGO here and debunk the entire statement in one lovely swoop.

I loved Alvin Lipschitz
more than I can possibly say.
He was a real artistic guy...
sensitive... a painter.
But he was troubled.
He was always trying
to find himself.
He'd go out every night
looking for himself
and on the way
he found Ruth,
Gladys,
Rosemary and Irving.

Yeah. Nate fucking found himself. He was finding himself also in the books, in case we're comparing the show once more to it. Yeah - he even ended the books trying to find himself. You see, the problem with men who are always trying to find themselves is that they'll never really find you. That's all the advice I can give you. And if that's Fate then I'd like to say at this moment that Blair's pretty fucked, isn't she?

------------

CV are hot, chuck should forget Blair for good...btw i think blair and nate look cute together so i'm rooting for them! After all they are KING N and QUEEN B! But the most important thing: GIVE US MORE CV INTENSE SCENE!!!!

ME: (you can't see me now but I'm annoyed and my brow is raised) I think my favorite part is that she's rooting for them because they're cute. I'm not going to even address CV because she's another little fucker who likes them because it makes her NB work out. SECOND. OH MY GOD. Nate is the KING of the lost and the unfortunate, of the people lacking facial expressions and acting abilities (sorry, Chace - we think you're OK), of characters used for the purpose of others, of 4 minute relationships (and we mean ALL of them) - that's what he's the King of. And when the Queen snaps out of this and becomes the bitch she LOVES to be that puppet king will run for the fucking hills. ALL HAIL THE PUPPET KING! How's THAT motherfucking Kool-Aid?

have you had your daily dose of ARCHIPAM?

WARNING: WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO WITNESS IS REAL AND MAY SHOCK AND DISTURB SOME OF YOU.

NEWSBREAK: OFFICIALS AT THE CW HAVE RELEASED A CONFIRMATION THAT NATHANIEL ARCHIBALD IS INDEED A DOUCHEBAG. THEY HAVE RELEASED SPECIAL FOOTAGE THAT SHOWS INCRIMINATING EVIDENCE THAT THIS MAN CANNOT BE TRUSTED. IF YOU SHOULD SPOT NATHANIEL ARCHIBALD AUTHORITIES ARE ASKING THE GENERAL PUBLIC TO GO AHEAD, PROCEED WITH CAUTION THEN SMACK THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF HIM. MORE DETAILS TO COME AT 11.

Now. Who can provide me with people still defending him as a response to this? Please send it in, I need more evidence that the Kool-Aid is still alive and well in the Fandom!

because Natalie is the new NATE!

Apparently GAWKER is still OFF THE JUICE!!! *HORRAY* WE LOVE you Gawker!

Gawker gets our love today as they bring us these FUCKING-FANTASTIC paragraphs!

Then Bob and Carol and Nate and Vanessa and Whosie and Charlemagne and Magenta and Mrs. Garrett and everyone showed up. What had happened was: Nate broke up with V. because he wanted to. V. said: "Is it someone else?" He said: No. That was a lie! So V. went over to C.'s and they D'd in the A and then he C'd all over her F and then they decided to go to the P together so B and N would be F'ing jealous. It sort of worked, but not really. Basically V. walked into the party and sucked face with C. while B and N were like "The F?" and then everyone walked away.

....

In the park, Blair went walking with Dorota, and was surprised by Natalie. "Oh, Mrs. Blair. I do think I love you ever so much!" Natalie declared. The music swooned and the comically cockney milkmaids cried in the background and that was the end of their snowy tale.

A toast. To not all the media being on the cracking KOOL-AID! Gawker, we salute you!

WARNING! THE CONTENT BELOW MAY NO BE SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN

Because even CHILDREN would notice the mess.

Watch. thefuck. out. It's time for your daily dose of FANDOM WANKING!! Yes, it continues. I know you're tired, I know you're sad I know you need something to make fun of before we all get on Prozac. I know this. So the only way that we know how to make you all feel better is to WANK the fuck out of these mofo's! Let us begin because today - today there's been people who are ESPECIALLY high on the KOOL-AID!

Jessica and Ed have OVERPOWERING sexual chemistry, probably the most out of any two people on the entire show. I love the person Blair has become with Nate. I usually can't stand her, but she's actually being very, very sweet, and Nate is being wonderful as usual. He's the only decent boy left in NYC. I just hope she doesn't break his heart TOO bad when the writers get all CB-happy again.

ME: I think this insipid little person infuriated A LOT of you because I had like five emails on it. You all want me to do her right? Oh, baby - satisfaction GUARANTEED! HA! Let's start out with addressing the CV pairing which, unlike Nair, needs to be centered on definition. By definition, OVERPOWERING is: to provide with more power than is needed or desirable. I think I need say no more. Dont believe me? Check Websters. Me thinks one of you added EXTRA sugar to her Kool-Aid, you all are NAUGHTY! I love it!

Now, let us consider this NB statement for the sake of consideration which is an activity I often find hollow and purposeless. "I love the person Blair has become with Nate." (look) Listen. If you like your Blair needy and insecure about things in her life I understand COMPLETELY why you've always enjoys NB. It's just your thing. Nate - and this is my FAVORITE part is "being wonderful as usual". She must have no read the Nate Commentary which was SO spot-on god himself couldn't have said it better, so if any of you see her roaming the streets with the permanent glass of Kool-Aid in her hand please hand her that article. I think her outlook on life may change. AND I have to send out an email to my friend who lives in NYC because if Nate is as decent as they get she better get herself and her heart the FUCK out of NYC. It's scary being single these days.

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"CHUCK/VANESSA FTW!!!
I usually don't like b/n but they were super cute this episode, I think Nate brings out the best in Blair unlike Chuck."

ME: I feel like I should give her pom-pons or something. Right? What I love with these is the use of CUTE. Because EVERYONE wants a ship that is cute. The way the Easter bunny is cute or or frilly pink dresses are, or maybe even VOMIT on my screen. That's FUCKING adorable!

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ppl who go for chair are juss horny kids this is proven through tht fic and through the fact that chuck and blair got together in a LIMO it was a one night stand and it was all lust and physical thier mind games reflect thier physical lust for each other therees no real connection at all. when chair hooks up its juss gonna be crazy sex 24/7 wow... i do not wnan see tht espicaly not with uglyy hairy chuck"

ME: OK, baby girl. I am NOT a kid. Cowgirl is not a kid. And for such a 'lusty and physical' relationship can I remind you (that is if you've actually watched the show) that Chair have had sex 'twice' on my screen. And both times they were fully clothed. I've seen more lusty shit on the discovery channel. Watch it - they had a nice segment on dolphins. You'd enjoy it. Now. On the fiction aspect of it - the best fanfiction out there is NOT based on sex, send me an email and I'll recommend you some. Like 500 of them. I dont know if you'll be able to handle it since your ship has like what? Twenty? In the entire fandom? Yeah.

I can't defend Ed's hairy chest but I should warn you, you just dated yourself, baby girl. Let me give you a lesson in men. They're hairy. ALL over the place. When you find one that shaves or 'trims' - I suggest you walk the FUCK out. Fast. That's the only advice I can give you in this life. Take it or leave it.

------

Nate was also in character, being the good guy and not wanting their relationship to be about other people.

ME: I swear to God this person has not watched S2. LIKE AT ALL. It's impossible OR maybe the Kool-Aid has now mutated and people are starting to forget certain episodes or scenes. I mean, this can be a clear side effect as Kool-Aid use is still new and under investigative research. It's quite possible that we have a brand-new symptom and treatments may change depending on the severity of this new discovery. But, since she's a poor lost lamb - lets help her out. Times Nate's relationships have overlapped - this season ALONE. Nate/Serena/Duchess, Nate/Vanessa/Duchess, Nate/Jenny/Vanessa, Nate/Vanessa/Blair. Nope. It's NEVER about other people. Like ever.

Remember to keep sending this awesome FUCKERY to theggkoolaid@gmail.com!!