because Natalie is the new NATE!

Apparently GAWKER is still OFF THE JUICE!!! *HORRAY* WE LOVE you Gawker!

Gawker gets our love today as they bring us these FUCKING-FANTASTIC paragraphs!

Then Bob and Carol and Nate and Vanessa and Whosie and Charlemagne and Magenta and Mrs. Garrett and everyone showed up. What had happened was: Nate broke up with V. because he wanted to. V. said: "Is it someone else?" He said: No. That was a lie! So V. went over to C.'s and they D'd in the A and then he C'd all over her F and then they decided to go to the P together so B and N would be F'ing jealous. It sort of worked, but not really. Basically V. walked into the party and sucked face with C. while B and N were like "The F?" and then everyone walked away.

....

In the park, Blair went walking with Dorota, and was surprised by Natalie. "Oh, Mrs. Blair. I do think I love you ever so much!" Natalie declared. The music swooned and the comically cockney milkmaids cried in the background and that was the end of their snowy tale.

A toast. To not all the media being on the cracking KOOL-AID! Gawker, we salute you!