KORBI talk

Now, because apparently EVERYONE has seen the finale except for me let us discuss the possibilities of things.

Dear Korbi. Baby, you still haven't learned that we can get easily pissed off. VERY easily pissed off.

Still dying to know what exactly went down with Blair and Jack Bass on New Year's?

Well you -- and Chuck -- will find out Monday, thanks to Gossip Girl, whomever she (or he) may be.

ME: We've been assured a variety of times that this secret will come out but it wont have a permanent dent on Chair. I mean, honestly, I rather it come out now - I want EVERYTHING to come out - and Chair still forgives and forgets. Because it's best this way, we dont want to become the new Darena where right off the bat the secrets are in.

The online tattletale plays a big part in next week's "GG" season finale when she kicks off graduation festivities by calling the elite of Constance and St. Jude out.

I won't spoil all of her accusations... just one: Whore!

She calls Nate Archibald a whore. Which he kind of is.

ME: But of course! SHOCKER.

What else can I tell you...

Well, there will be a marriage proposal (any guesses?), the friendly reunion of a former couple (no, I'm not referring to Chuck and Blair),

ME: I have a feeling... and dont shoot the messenger but I have a feeling based on LD's incessant talking and this that we will see NV come back in the finale. And IF this happens you all have to brace yourself for the biggest rant of the year. We're talking WORSE than GET MAD. I'm really hoping I'm wrong but if I'm right... yeah. Brace yourself.

the return of a character we haven't seen in a little while (oh, the possibilities!) and... a weird preoccupation with headbands.

The character that's coming back? Okay, fine, it's Carter Baizen... and he's bringing some big news with him. News about someone we met this past Monday. News that will no doubt affect next year's storylines.

ME: Dont care. Next.

As for Chuck and Blair, the episode belongs to them and that's all I'm going to say on that subject.

ME: YESSSSS!!! God, I need this SO badly, you dont know.

Something I will, however, happily elaborate on is the hotness of Dan and Serena's half brother who, as previously reported, shows up in the finale.

ME: Set Vanessa on him, we're pretty sure SOMETHING will happen. He'll be the one guy she hasn't hit.

God, I need Sunday to be here. Like now. I'm tired of the fucking speculation and of the 'spoilers' that really tell you ALL about the episode.

the DRAMEDY continues

Apparently 'Lily' is still twitching. Inching by as everyone considers it dead. It seems to me that 'Lily' is the new Nair. Only it may or may not last the full 4 minutes. Really, people need to get their reporting straight. I got all excited that it was not happening and now you tell me it is and I'm just emotional right now, ok?? I can't handle all this back and forth.

Though the gossip on the "Gossip Girl" spin off is, as I reported yesterday, that the series will not make it to your TV this fall, a network insider tells me this rumor is preposterous.

The CW doesn't begin scheduling meetings until next week and that's when the decisions are actually made.

So why has talk surrounding the buzzed-about project suddenly turned negative? I'm hearing that The CW's development slate -- including the "Melrose" spin off, the Mischa Barton "Beautiful Life" pilot and the "Vampire Diaries" pilot -- is so strong that the network is having a hard time deciding what to cut.
Source

Like really... someone needs to get me more vampire shows. So if it's between the Vampire show and Lily I say AX Lily.

because Natalie is the new NATE!

Apparently GAWKER is still OFF THE JUICE!!! *HORRAY* WE LOVE you Gawker!

Gawker gets our love today as they bring us these FUCKING-FANTASTIC paragraphs!

Then Bob and Carol and Nate and Vanessa and Whosie and Charlemagne and Magenta and Mrs. Garrett and everyone showed up. What had happened was: Nate broke up with V. because he wanted to. V. said: "Is it someone else?" He said: No. That was a lie! So V. went over to C.'s and they D'd in the A and then he C'd all over her F and then they decided to go to the P together so B and N would be F'ing jealous. It sort of worked, but not really. Basically V. walked into the party and sucked face with C. while B and N were like "The F?" and then everyone walked away.

....

In the park, Blair went walking with Dorota, and was surprised by Natalie. "Oh, Mrs. Blair. I do think I love you ever so much!" Natalie declared. The music swooned and the comically cockney milkmaids cried in the background and that was the end of their snowy tale.

A toast. To not all the media being on the cracking KOOL-AID! Gawker, we salute you!

god, I LOVE the smell of FUCKERY in the morning!

Time to WANK the MEDIA. Because, yes - they're as FUCKED up as all the other IDIOTS out there. It's the fucking Kool-Aid, man - ever seen Invasion of the Body Snatchers? DONT FALL ASLEEP or you'll wake up walking like them, talking like them, thinking like them and then it's OVER for you. I can't save you. You'll be STUCK there until the finale.

Love, lust and backstabbing is clearly in the air for these four. Even if Vanessa and Chuck said at the end of the episode that they want "last night" to stay secret, it's clear that they have sparks. It wouldn't surprise me if they remain friends with benefits while trying to make Nate and Blair jealous. As for the latter couple, they'll probably be on cloud nine for a while, but since they didn't work out the first time they dated, I don't think they will last long. But, as I've said last week, as long as it keeps Blair on the right path, I'm all for Nate and Blair.
From TV Squad

ME: Oh TV Squad. A long time ago. We used to be friends. Now, it's time to make fun of the pathetic shit you're posting that you call journalism. This is a prime example of people see what people want. No analysis behind it, no WHY THE HELL was this done. It's just... let me watch it and comment about it. THAT is FUCKERY. Let us get one thing straight. I DO NOT NOW NOR EVER WANT TO SEE A RL COUPLE ON MY FUCKING TV. AND further more, you SHOULDN'T either. Have you met an actor? Ever? Actors are flighty people often times with no sense of grounding. They are what we call 'the talent' - they come in, read their lines, be their characters and walk out. That's what they do. So this means that TODAY they may have chemistry on my screen but the moment they FUCK their own relationship over (which ALL of them do) they'll ALSO fuck up your characters. That's the way it rolls. If you dont believe me - watch One Tree Hill, that's PRIME example of fuckery. Now. I would love to point out all the things WRONG with the 'right' path mentioned about NB but I can just point you to the Nate-article posted below. Read it. Laugh about it. Quote it. Remember, somethings are chicken soup to our bitchy souls.

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The return of Blair and Nate, formerly one of the blandest couplings on the show, was sweet and refreshing. Meeting at the place of their first kiss? Cute. Nate wanting to actually be Blair’s friend and resisting her over-the-top seduction techniques? Well, that certainly is new.

ME: AGAIN. People watch things for what they are and NEVER see beyond it. This chick ALSO needs to get off the MOTHERFUCKING KOOL-AID and read the Buddy-TV article. She MAY or may not recognize her own stupidity. You see, the thing is that idiots SELDOM recognize their own inconsistencies. One day they're OK with something the next they're like 'I NEVER SAID THAT' or 'I WOULD NEVER!'. It's a character trait that comes with idiocy. Character traits possessed by BOTH Nathaniel Archibald AND Vanessa from the Hood. God. I might start 'shipping them TOGETHER again.


AND she continues.

I’ve never been a Vanessa fan. I find her integrity and devotion to her bohemian lifestyle utterly annoying. Yet with Chuck, I see a bad, more manipulative and more fun Vanessa. She’s sleeping around. She’s attempting to manipulate her ex. She is no longer the goody two-shoes we love to hate. Congrats to the show’s writers for finally giving this character some dimension. Now don’t get me wrong — I am still cheering loudly for the Blair-Chuck team, but I can support this hopefully temporary but still exciting detour.

ME: THIS is my problem with the people who SUDDENLY like her. THIS Vanessa, like the Blair we're seeing, is not REALLY Vanessa. (yes, I know I'm defending her, it's all these things I have to post I'm going to have to detoxify along with Ed when this is all over!) What's going to happen is that she's going to SNAP out of it and realize she's not like this and doesn't want to be like this. That is IF the writers are even attempting to keep any character consistency anymore. AND further more once your audience HATES a character with the vehement passion that this character is HATED right now you can NEVER EVER EVER try to squish her into the audience's FAVORITE character because she will become cream on a fucking stick. This wont change no matter how many times JessSzzz smiles and giggles for the camera. All those people that were OK with Vanessa will HATE her and those that claim to love her cause she's awesome will continue to swim AGAINST the fucking tide just to piss everyone else off with their 'unconventional' love for Jess. Hey. Whatever gets you wet people. Be my guest.

Oh and if you want to comment on her WANKERY post here (heh)
Chuck is the new Vanessa

that's the stuff's that SHIT is made of

In an era when watching Gossip Girl feels like eating runny-menstrual shit on melba toast I bring you the following WANKERY. From a website that shall now be called POPSHIT. It's much more fitting, dont you think?

We are a little sad to see Blair rush back into the arms of her ex, Nate, but the new couple of Vanessa and Chuck is sneaky, shady, and we absolutely love it!

So first of all I am officially declaring the Gossip Girl fandom a DISASTER ZONE. Evacuation started last night and those left behind I am imposing MARTIAL LAW. This is how it's going to go down, BITCHES. If you so much as FIND some website on the fucking 'aid' like the one above, you are being instructed to EMAIL IT TO US so we can WANK THE LIVING FUCKING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF IT. The era of where you post in your boards or rant in your MSN is OVER. No more NICE CHAIR-SHIPPERS. It's WAR. It's ON, bitches. Yeah, I'm talking to you! Yes, you - reading this and just FUMING and thinking there's NOTHING you can do about how the world is falling apart.

We have more numbers, we have sharper tongues and we're as ANGRY AS MOTHERFUCKING HELL. And WE are NOT GOING TO TAKE IT. If you didn't email CW last night, then do IT NOW! If you already did - DO IT AGAIN.

I refuse to be blind-sided by the ridiculous statements thought of by this website that is CHUGGING the Kool-Aid at an alarming rate and THEN having the Texas-sized BALLS to post it online.

Oh, my people... it's going to be a busy night, a busy week and an even busier MOTHERFUCKING HIATUS.

Where do you send your tips to? theggkoolaid@gmail.com that's where! I swear I will never post your name, bring me the fandoms stuff - even a person you once thought to be your friend that you're SO over and their FUCKING multi-shipping but you dont want to be rude? LEAVE THE RUDENESS TO US. We'll GLADLY tell it like it is.

Oh and the BEAUTY of the website above? We can leave comments! (if I had a naughty smiley this is where I'd use it)

We'll be back with more FANDOM WANKERY! Your FAVE!

NOTE: WE SUSPECT THAT LADY DREADLOCKS IS SOMEHOW BEHIND THE SUDDEN 'AWESOMENESS' OF HOBO. USE CAUTION WHEN WATCHING HER SCENES AND KEEP YOUR CRUCIFIXES HANDY.

smells a little like DESPERATION to me

Because every once in a while the MEDIA is smart enough to let us give our opinions. Jump the Shark's question is

What do you think Blair, Lily and Rufus' storylines? Interesting, dramatic storytelling or desperate stunts?

of course, the decisive answer is DESPERATE STUNTS

But let's analyze this for a minute. Blair - it's a given. My Queen B was NEVER one to play hopscotch with men like this. Yes, she's used sex before as a weapon, like any good bitch but this SHIT is so out of control that it's got people bitching about her (oh, don't you worry, I'm sharpening my tongue to WANK those motherfuckers too). And Lily and Rufus? I bet you a Belgian waffle that these two will last as long as long as my nail polish takes to dry. That's 60 seconds, in case you're wondering. So, in conclusion it's NOT interesting, it's OVER THE TOP dramatic and it's TOTALLY desperate.

And, time to make fun of the answers :D

I already seen this week episode (go canadians!!) and since last week I gotta say GOSSIP GIRL IS BACK ON TRACK!

ME: Yes, it's on track to the morgue or a one-way ticket to Nepal.

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I live in Canada so I've allready seen the newest episode and I don't think GG is having any problems anymore! The episode was AMAZING and leaving you wanting more. I think the writers need to take a break from Chuck/Blair because they are boring me with the same old thing. Like really, I know a lot of the audience likes them...but its just so repetitive! We need something new...and after this new episode I think things are going in a new direction!

ME: Yes, this episode will leave us ALL wanting more of JS's head on a fucking platter with those little tiny onions that are really sweet when roasted. So she knows the audience wants Chair but she thinks we should break from it. Financially, your statement is misinformed from all angles of the earth's latitudes.

So, who else is writing in? Remember what I said - dont ever think that your voice doesn't count because it DOES. They need US more than we need THEM!