the bitch in the lewinsky DRESS

We need to ask a humble and honest question here. Have we ever, in the one-month history of this blog, ever held ANYTHING but disdain and disgust for Lady Dreadlocks? HAVE WE? I mean, you all got the fucking memo, didn't you? You all KNOW this, right? You all know that this is not a JessicaZzzzz fansite at all, right? RIGHT? I thought so. I fucking thought so. I mean, we're mounting a PETITION to get her off my screen. I don't know how clearer that can be. So imagine us fucking SURPRISED when we get contacted by the marketing company that is coordinating The CW and Dove campaign featuring our lady friend here asking to us to PARTICIPATE in this most appalling act of Satan. I mean... we made a post about it. We warned you all, didn't we? Yes, we fucking did! We SAVED most of you from having to iron plastic hair for the rest of your lives! I mean, this is no fucking secret.

So we get contacted, asking us to participate in the promotion of this and what not. Now, we've never claimed to be anything other than BITCHES. Yes, this is what we are. WE are the crazy bitches around here and you either fucking love us or fucking hate us. That's quite alright. We happen to fucking love ourselves and pride ourselves in being Kool-Aid free. On that note. This was our response to the request received:

Hello, xxmarketingpersonxx!

So listen, I know you’re not to blame because it's not you who chose to do this but we have to say that we’re VERY surprised at receiving this. If you’ve read ANY of our posts in our website you would know that we are on a mission to have Jessica Szohr’s character, Vanessa, REMOVED from the show.

We have already encouraged our readers to discontinue the use of DOVE products IMMEDIATELY as we are VERY concerned that they will begin resembling Ms. Szohr’s appearance. We are also amounting a petition signed by the fans requesting the writers of the show to write Vanessa's character off.

Oh and Jessica is not the star of the show. She’s lucky if she gets one line and a facial expression an episode. If not that, then she has to screw the male star in order to ride him on screen with no sense of purpose to the plot. So she, in actuality, is the bane of our existence. Her character has ruined half our storylines and the fandom, at large, HATES her. And not in a good way. Compile this and the producers incessant need to shove her in our faces, like this DOVE campaign is doing, doesn't help.

So if you’re suggesting something to your client it would be that not only do they contract someone who doesn’t wear cheap Tahitian weaves for a living but someone who we actually like and inspire to look like. This is cannot be the face of DOVE. It’s insulting. I’m appalled for a brand I used to respect and now I have no choice but to search for a new deodorant. I heard Secret was awesome.

I would also like to volunteer my complimentary bottle of soap to the actual actresses since she often has nothing to bathe with before she appears on the red carpet. I hand it over. It’ll be a tax deductible.

But thank you for your time. I’ll be more than happy to pass your message along to our readers!

xoxo, The Kool-Aid Girls

p.s. – also, if you also secretly hate her too you’re welcomed to sign the petition – we won’t tell anyone!

http://www.petitiononline.com/nomorev/petition.html

Let it not be said that KAG sold its soul for the money. We mean EVERYTHING we say and we mean it with conviction. Not because it started out this way but because the same show we're so very hard on it's the same show that inspired us to believe in this great story. That, like Chuck in S1, we will be persistent. We have our eye on the prize and that is a damn good story. Vanessa? She gets in our fucking way and JS plays her. Plus we hate her. It's just that simple, no ulterior motive. I'm not hiding behind anything other than my pure dislike for her.

Now. If up until this point you didn't really believe we were THAT bad I do hope this served to change your mind. PEACE OUT. And switch to SECRET.