Saturday, May 23, 2009

I can't beWEAVE it!

I want take a moment to state that I didn't write ANYTHING. I'm just copy/pasting the love that is Gawker. :D

Really. She's making it too easy on ALL of us; we dont even have to try. We're soon going to be out of a job. For reals!



For you stupid fools that think we're the only ones that make fun of her; here's a dose of that shit called reality:

I mean, we're all taking it pretty seriously. But, c'mon. That's Vanessa from "Gossiping Girlies" at a party somewhere stupid in New York last night

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"And class, that was the whorus erectus, and over here we have the douchebagian hipsterotopus... "

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not quite memorial day yet, whitey mcoutfit

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Hips Ahoy!

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South Pathetic

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Dreadnaught! It was smooth sailing after that.

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Tan much?

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"Has anybody seen my naval?"

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Zombie Megan Fox? Seriously though both are trannies

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"OK, Jess, now turn around so we can see the Dove Go Fresh ad on the back."

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the piranha haven't eaten her yet?

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I can't be-weave it.

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I love that everyone in the background is looking away hoping to find someone more famous or less orange.

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Wow, that picture has the whole food chain of the celebu-industrial-complex.
-Self important, striving narcissistic half-talent center piece cash machine
-Snooty, self-important, high strung, longing for a decent lay "publicist"
-Fanboys and girls all more interested in the arrival of the dwarf who played a Ferengi in the original Star Trek than the piece of ass right in front of them (hahaha!! and you all think WE are mean!)

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By the end the night I am sure she was surrounded by navel officers and non-commissioned semen.

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Siren Lures Sailors to Their Doom, Costars From Their Dudes

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Buster Brownish-Orange


That's all folks! :D

13 comments:

  1. LMFAO!
    That's just a big ole' mess!!!

    Eddie, wake the fuck up already!!!

    She does look like a tranny! LOL.

    -

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  2. Her stylist hates her. Possibly, for getting to bring home McEddie. Well played, jessica snore's stylist.. well played.

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  3. I think my main problem with her is not her appearance (although that is in need of some serious overhauling) but her lack of substance. I know all her supporters gush about how she's so "nice" and "cute," but there doesn't seem to be much more to her than that. Can she do anything but giggle and hang all over her man? We know she can't act. And, I feel like a total bitch saying it, but she does not come across as particularly intelligent. How is Ed not bored with her already?

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  4. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH HER FACE.

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  5. She should get it on with Megan Fox and leave Ed alone.
    Fail goes with fail.

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  6. i was appalled at what she was wearing! that style went out of fashion 10 years back. she might as well have come in trackpants.

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  7. 7.29 > Yes! Completely agree. Fair enough she's a nice person with a good heart, whatever whatever, but what exactly does she do besides giggle, pose ridiculously and pimp Ed's storylines?!

    Oh, the giggling. *shudders* This is just me but I dislike being around people who are too happy happy joy joy all the time. Makes me want to knock them out and/or tell them to calm the fuck down. Especially when they have shrilly voices to boot.

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  8. DITTO to annony 7:29! i was just talkign with a friend the other day and we were wondering why we hate her so much and i realised that if she had a personality, you know, maybe a backbone to make a future for herself by herself, i could respect her. but i hate how she's always hanging on to someone else. first it was all those pictures with her going to appearances with leighton [fashion week 2008, lucky magazine] and now that she's latched herself on to ed, she's going every where with him! if she was more like leighton and was more independent and spoke her mind without giggling every 2 seconds, i think i could stand her.

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  9. I think her stylist hates her and her friends too. Because if she was my friend I would yank her back inside and fix her or something that's just not right. Friends dont let friends go out like this, it's just common courtesy. Actually, I would not let her go out this way and I dont like her. I would be like 'Listen, Jess, we have to talk, baby, this is just wrong. And THIS is how you stand when you pose for photographers."

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  10. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH HER FACE

    ^^^ LOL!

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  11. I LOVE GAWKER!!!
    I agree that she has no substance. She just doesnt do anything other than to take advantage of the spotlight shone on her more famous and talented co-stars. She is nothing but a glorified hanger-on.
    Her attitude and "fashion" is the worst but her shrilly voice is absolutely cringe-worthy -- which makes her absolutely intolerable in her scenes and interviews.

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  12. That is just so wrong. Yes, I intentionally used the word that and not she.

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  13. She is cringe-worthy in every way possible; looks, hair, lack of style, horrible horrible hair, a 2" layer of make-up with monotone lip stick (I mean some people can get away with that, but she is definitely not one of them, she looks deformed), have I mentioned her god-awful hair, her lack of talent, and her constant use of others more talented than she could ever dream of being in order to be in the limelight...and let's not forget that nightmare enducing hair. Although I do have to say that recently her make-up is almost as horrendous as that mess on top of her head. Almost!

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